Humor

WOW! Marco Rubio Is a TEXTBOOK Asinine Cartoon Politician

rafifarber Humor, The Jewish Libertarian Blog , ,

The man repeats himself, word for word in a nearly 30 second talking point, three times in a row. As if he is an actual robot.

This is why I love democracy. And voting. Because it gives you, the voter, the opportunity to decide which mindless robot will have the power to control your life.

And that is beautiful.

You’ll also notice that there are indeed very simple answers to these questions, but that neither of their positions or logic makes any sense. It’s all about which one sounds better at spewing BS. Rubio is obviously stupid enough to the point that he can’t even act human or off the cuff anymore. Christie at least is better at spewing nonsense in a more human sounding way. He’s the better AI.

It’s a broken record personified. It mamash sounds like a cartoon. In fact:

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How to Really Heckle Donald Trump

rafifarber Humor, The Jewish Libertarian Blog

Trump has some serious game. He is an AMOG par excellence. AMOG is pickup parlance for Alpha Male of the Group. He knows how to deflect hecklers and come out on top. But AMOG’s have their weaknesses.

The last time somebody heckled Trump he threatened to have security take away his coat. Dissing Trump though is not going to work. Alphas always know how to turn hecklers to their advantage.

The only way to get Trump off his game through heckling is to praise him profusely and embarrassingly while taking his policy centerpieces to their logical conclusion.

Here’s what I mean. When I was in the Israeli army, I was stuck with a bunch of juvenile misfits. Almost all of the native Israeli kids were gross annoying obnoxious disgusting and stupid, most of them from broken homes. They stuck them with the group of new immigrants (עולים חדשים) to hopefully tame them, us being twenty-somethings, some with wives and families. I was married at the time.

It didn’t work. The obnoxious kids poisoned the rest of the group and it was just miserable. I made a few friends but I can’t say the experience was net positive. I wasn’t even a minarchist back then.

There was however one kid in particular who was especially annoying. A good looking badass from a bad neighborhood who refused to do anything the commanders told him to do and got us all collectively punished for it. Such is the State army. He was ultra cool, and extremely annoying. Imagine having to deal with the most popular teenager in camp while looking at it from the point of view of a married 26 year old who shouldn’t even be wasting time in summer camp.

One time this kid was flirting with a group of good looking female soldiers. He was doing well, they were giggling and obviously attracted to him. I was with a group of immigrant soldiers from my unit, married guys, and we were all just looking at this kid wanting to mess up his game somehow. So I volunteered to do it.

I walked up to him as he was flirting with these girls, tilted my glasses so they were a little crooked, pulled my pants up high to look as nerdy and stupid as possible, and said, in my thickest and deepest American-accented Hebrew I could pull off, “עמוס הוא החייל הכי טוב והכי מגניב בכל המחלקה! אני אוהב את עמוס מאוד מאוד, הוא חבר טוב מאד שלי ושל כולנו! שלום עמוס אתה מגניב!”

“Amos is the coolest and best soldier in our whole unit! I love Amos a lot a lot! He is my best friend and everyone’s best friend! Hi Amos, you’re really cool!”

As I was saying this I put my arm around his shoulder and tried to give him a hug, but he ran out of there too fast and by the time I finished he had already sprinted away.

That’s how you have to heckle Donald Trump. Go in there wearing a Trump shirt, Trump gear, scream profuse praise and say something like “Yay Donald! I love the Donald! No more trade with China! We don’t want China’s cheap stuff! We want to pay more for American stuff! Build a huge wall on the Mexican border! Make it like the big wall of China! Ban all immigration! Deport all the Muslims! Save America! Go Donald!”

And then try to rush the stage and give him a big hug. Make sure you’re wearing a big Donald wig.

And I promise you he won’t know how to respond. He’ll just be flustered.

 

Israeli Pigs Save Day, Arrest Doctor for Prescribing Cannabis

rafifarber Humor, The Jewish Libertarian Blog , ,

How many more stabbings today? Who cares! The police got their man and did something important. They arrested a doctor who sold cannabis prescriptions for money. And the self righteous amoral drones had a press conference about it, as if it was some big thing and they did a good job. Meanwhile people are getting stabbed and run over by crazed Arab motorists.

But at least Dr. Avraham Dotan will be behind bars for selling a plant! We’re saved.

Thank you police, who protecteth us from evil plants.

The next time someone gets stabbed and goes to the hospital, I hope you don’t arrest the doctor first if he happened to sell a medical marijuana prescription.

 

Palestinian Flag at the UN? Oh No! WHO CARES?

rafifarber Humor, The Jewish Libertarian Blog ,

Here’s another piece of news that matters about as much to me, in the words of RJ Fletcher, “as a festering bowl of dog snot.”

The “Palestinian Flag” is about to waved at the UN. Oh boy. How exciting and important. The UN is the collection of the world’s worst human beings in one room. Those Jews who see some kind of religious meaning in UN recognition of statehood, as if that matters at all to anything, will be offended by this, just like right wing Christians are offended when gay people have a wedding ceremony, or just like Saudis are offended when women drive a car. These people look for things to be offended by while politicians steal their shirts.

I don’t care if gay people get married. I don’t care if Muslim women drive a car or go outside without their burkas. I do not care if a “Palestinian flag” is waved at some headquarters of a bunch of idiotic diplomats.

Wave this one. Here’s my flag. The Offensive Spangled Banner.

Gay Islamic-Christian Communazi Satan-Worshipping Pirates of the Confederate States of Israel
Gay Islamic-Christian Communazi Satan-Worshipping Pirates of the Confederate States of Israel

One Cheer for Moshe Kachlon – Lower Alcohol Taxes!

rafifarber Humor, The Jewish Libertarian Blog , , , , ,

I’ve written a lot about Kachlon in the past and how much I can’t stand the guy. Notwithstanding all the damage he’s done already in raising all kinds of housing taxes, he actually did something good today and lowered alcohol taxes from 4.33 shekels per liter of beer to 2.33. He also lowered taxes on hard liquor from 106.9 shekels per liter of ethanol to 85 per liter.

This was the status quo ante 2012, when Yair Pretty Boy Lapid came into office, who I should mention is publicly know to have once been, and may still be, a raging alcoholic. Pretty Boy Lapid, seeing the light and crusading against alcoholism by making everyone who buys alcohol pay him more money, had the goal of lowering the consumption rate of alcohol in Israel.

And by some kind of miracle called markets and supply and demand (miracle to Lapid anyway), it didn’t work. Why not? Because it’s not that hard to brew your own alcohol. You can do it yourself with some grape juice, some yeast, and a Water distiller.

I used to buy Arak from time to time. I haven’t bought a single bottle since 2012. They will not get extra tax revenue from me. I can theoretically make my own Arak now with anise extract and all the above materials.

The politicians just figured this out, the idiots:

הצוות התייחס גם למיסוי המוטל על משקאות משכרים (כגון וודקה, וויסקי, עראק, ג’ין וכו’). מנכ”ל האוצר מסר לשר כי בחינת העלאת המס בשנים 2014-2015 הצביעה כי למרות התכנון המקורי, הרי שהעלאת מס הקנייה כלל לא הביאה לתוספת הכנסות במונחים ריאליים.

בהתאם להמלצות הצוות, נדרש שינוי מבני מיידי גם בשל ההתפתחויות השליליות בענף האלכוהול – התפתחות של תעשייה פיראטית שמייצרת משקאות מזיקים לבריאות, פגיעה בציבור העוסקים הישרים שנאלצים להתמודד עם שוק שחור בהיקפים לא מבוטלים ופגיעה בציבור הצרכנים בשל העלאת המס.

The committee also changed the tax level on hard drinks like vodka, whisky, arak and gin. The director of the finance department told Kachlon that the 2014-2015 tax raise showed that despite original planning (sic), raising the sales tax did not bring in additional tax revenue.

In keeping with the recommendations of the committee, an immediate change is needed due to the negative developments in the alcohol sector – the development of pirate manufacturing that can harm health, hurt the alcohol industry that needs to compete with a substantial black market, and hurting consumers who need to pay the higher tax.

And as an additional testament to the BS you often find in mainstream state-controlled media, here are two paragraphs. The second from the article about lowering the tax, and the first from an article when Lapid raised it.

מלשכת השר שטייניץ אמרו בתגובה לדברי לפיד על המס על האלכוהול: “בהמשך לדברי שר האוצר לפיד בנוגע להעלאת המס על האלכוהול האחרונה, אמר השר שטייניץ כי מעולם לא קיבל החלטה ולא התחייב לקבל החלטה לעלות את שיעור המס. במסגרת התהליך המבורך של קבלת ישראל ל-OECD הוסכם על שינוי שיטת המס החל משנת 2014, בהתאם למודל הנהוג במדינות הארגון. אולם, ההחלטה עצמה על גובה שיעור המס נותרה לשיקול דעתו של שר האוצר בלבד.

(Short translation: The rise in alcohol taxes is due to a deal with the OECD, which just accepted us yay, so we’re doing this as a favor to them, because they said so and we made a deal. And by the way, the actual level of the tax is only up to the Finance Minister, Pretty Boy Lapid, raising a big question about what the heck the first sentences of this paragraph about the OECD even means.)

And now for the article that just came out about lowering it back down:

רמת מיסוי הנהוגה כיום גבוהה משמעותית מזו הנהוגה במדינות ה-OECD. בחינת התוצאות של העלאת המס על בירה בשנים 2013-2015 הראתה כי למרות ההכפלה של המיסוי, הדבר כמעט ולא השפיע על היקפי הצריכה של בירה. המשמעות כי המס שהוטל בשנת 2012 הכביד על ציבור הצרכנים מבלי תרם באופן ממשי לעניין צמצום השתייה המזיקה.

Short translation: Taxes were lowered back down because they were much higher than the level accepted by the OECD. And tax revenue wasn’t increasing so there was no point.

You have to laugh at this. I hope Lapid falls off the wagon and goes binge drinking tonight. Maybe he’ll come down with the DT’s and have a near death experience, be saved in the emergency room and then retire. (I’m joking, I don’t wish him the DT’s.) I’ll fund his alcohol budget personally if he would just go away and stop passing any laws. I wish him well, and to leave me alone. As they say in Hebrew, תהיה בריא.

One cheer for Kachlon. Just one.

Politician-Dense Capital Cities Have the Most Ashley Madison Accounts Per Capita

rafifarber Humor, The Jewish Libertarian Blog ,

Enough World War II revisionism for one day. Let’s move on to more fun politician bashing. Ashley Madison, the site that sets up married people to have discreet affairs was of course hacked a few weeks ago. I’m not sure what I think about that morally. On the one hand, affairs are not necessarily immoral provided there is mutual agreement for an open marriage. But in most cases they are immoral by breach of contract.

Preliminarily, I would say Ashley Madison is a legitimate site provided that it has a disclaimer that anyone who uses it does not legally breach their marriage contracts, whatever they may say. But I haven’t completely thought it through yet, so I am open to other opinions. Besides, I doubt the site had such a disclaimer.

In any case, I discovered today that the 4 cities with the most Ashley Madison accounts per capita, besides Ottawa where 1 in 5 residents has an account, are:

  1. Athens,
  2. Oslo,
  3. Berlin,
  4. And good old Washington D.C.

All capital cities where the highest densities of politicians and government workers hang out. To surf porn and plan affairs and regulate our lives ad infinitum. I can’t think of 4 cities I dislike more for their politicians, perhaps even in that very order.

It just goes to show, once again, that democracy puts the worst of the worst in charge, and whoever has political ambitions is a morally challenged human being until proven otherwise.

 

Nitzan Horowitz: Without Government, There Would be No Cultural Activities At All!

rafifarber Humor, The Jewish Libertarian Blog , ,

There’s this whole totally unnecessary controversy right now in Israel about some play about some Arab who kills some soldier and the State having to subsidize the play but not wanting to, and somehow not subsidizing a play with with tax money is tantamount to violating free speech.

If that’s so, what I’m doing right now is not free speech because the government isn’t paying me to do it. I can’t tell if the people who say these things are actually that stupid, or they are just incredibly dishonest. Probably a mix.

Then there’s another play about Yigal Amir somewhere that other people don’t want to be subsidized. And again, both sides hate each other.

Here’s an idea. Don’t subsidize any play whatsoever, and let people watch or not watch them, and leave us all alone. Ah, but then there will be no more plays at all, in fact no cultural activity at all, says Nitzan Horowitz! Wow!

Moshe’s pretty good in this one. Horowitz says something like “If you take away state money from cultural activities, you could say the same about education, housing, and everything else!”

Feiglin: Yes, exactly.

Horowitz: Then there will be nothing!

Feiglin: So you’re saying that if the Minister of Outer Space suddenly resigned, then the cosmos would stop existing.

Now that’s good stuff.

Only one objection. Feiglin says that no one should be forced to subsidize any plays, and Horowitz correctly says that he shouldn’t be forced to pay for settlers. That’s a good point, and Horowitz is correct there.

Moshe tries to answer with a non-sequitur, saying that he doesn’t pay for settlers because settlers are more productive than other sectors. But that’s nonsense. He pays for their protection and everything else public in Judea and Samaria regardless of how productive they are, and he shouldn’t have to because he has a moral problem with where they live. Moshe can’t say that though because then he becomes an anarcho capitalist so he has to say something illogical to keep his minarchy intact.

The other nutty thing about this video was the subtitle that appears around minute 4: “Privatization of Culture: A good solution or morally bankrupt?”

Privatization of culture is morally bankrupt of course. Before the State, there was no culture. First there were people who were in charge of everyone who told the little people who they stole from how to do culture. Then they did culture. Without governments, there would be no culture, and we’d basically be monkeys. Yeah. Sounds right. Sometimes I can’t stop thinking how sick this State is.

 

Headline of the Year: Gennimata easily beats off competition to become first woman to head PASOK

rafifarber Humor, The Jewish Libertarian Blog , ,

Great stuff. Love the picture too. And her name, Fofi.

Gennimata easily beats off competition to become first woman to head PASOK

Fofi beats off competition
Fofi beats off competition
Fofi Gennimata took over as the first female leader in PASOK’s history on Monday after comfortably seeing off her two male competitors to secure the presidency of the beleaguered Socialist party.

The ex-minister immediately said that she would seek to rebuild the once-mighty party and would begin a dialogue with other groups on the center-left of Greek politics. Although she did not name them, her comments suggest that she will reach out to Democratic Left, which was part of the coalition government between 2012 and 2013, and the Movement of Democratic Socialists launched by ex-PASOK chief George Papandreou in January.

Reminds me of this great blooper: