Nir Barkat Doesn’t Get It

rafifarber The Jewish Libertarian Blog , , ,
Nir Barkat interviewed on Fox News, misses the point and makes things worse.

Nir Barkat, Mayor of Jerusalem, just…doesn’t…get it. Nor does any Israeli leader currently in power.

Watch this interview. Notice how Barkat cannot explain why Arabs would want to rush Israel’s borders. Notice how Neil Cavuto seems to be pushing him to say something more, yet he can’t. Notice how Barkat keeps saying how we have to “manage the conflict” and how we are “peace seeking”. He slams the same points that every Israeli leader has been slamming since 1948. “We want to be left alone please. But we do have a nice tourism industry. Come stop by a hotel and have a falafel. After all, that’s why we’ve survived for 3,000 years. For the tourism. And the falafel.”

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com

There is no time to manage the conflict, Nir. The world is at a tipping point and we’re on the low end.

Nir – here’s what you should have said if you were a true Jewish leader instead of one who wants to pretend he’s just like Neil Cavuto and that Neil should check out the falafel.

Cavuto: Why are they rushing the border?

Barkat: Neil, they’re rushing the border because they want to destroy us. (That much Barkat understands. What he doesn’t understand is this:) They want to destroy us because they are Muslim. Jewish existence in Israel confirms the Bible and threatens the Quran, which puts their entire religion in question. If they can destroy Israel, they save Islam, and so they’re trying really hard to save their religion. You can’t blame them really.

They are encouraged when Israel is willing to give away land that was promised to the Jews, to people who it does not belong to. This shows the world that Israel, and by extension the Jewish People, don’t feel that they are justified in living in the land that God gave them. If they’ll give up the land of their ancestors, they’ll definitely give up the land of their parents 63 years ago. This is what gives them the strength to think that the “Zionist Entity” as they call it, is only temporary. And they rush Israel’s borders.

Cavuto: A lot of folks are gunning for you Nir, what do you think you should do about it?

Barkat: This isn’t the first time a lot of folks have been gunning for the Jewish People, Neil. We’ve survived it all. But nobody who has ever attempted to destroy us has ever survived that attempt. So if they want to try, I say bring it on. God will protect His people as He always has, and the bad people in the end will be destroyed.

Cavuto: Doesn’t it bother you that the world thinks you’re the bad guys?

Barkat: First of all, no. The Jewish People don’t rely on the world. We rely on our God. Second, they think we’re the bad guys because we keep saying we occupy land that isn’t ours. If our Prime Minister said that God gave us all of Israel, then they wouldn’t think we’re bad. They’d think we’re Jews, and they’d be scared.

Cavuto: Don’t you think the world is upside down, investigating you for what you say is self defense, investigating the US for killing Osama bin Laden…

Barkat: They’re investigating the USA for killing Osama bin Laden because the USA no longer sees itself as the moral example for the rest of the world, and opens herself up to evil people judging her. Obama going on apology tours to Saudi Arabia doesn’t help. Same with Israel. We don’t see ourselves as a moral example for the rest of the world. We see ourselves as occupiers who want to compromise because we took too much. When we stop saying we want to give them a State, we’ll stop being seen as evil. When you stop apologizing for being Americans, you’ll stop being seen as evil as well.

This is how he should have closed:

We are a peace seeking people, but we are also a war seeking people against anyone who dare threaten us. What we really seek is the glory of the God of Israel. If our neighbors leave us alone, we’ll do that by living in our country as a moral example to the rest of the world. If they fight us, we will fight them in the name of God and win, as we always have.

—

The problem with Nir Barkat and all the rest of Israel’s leadership is they go around trying to convince Neil Cavuto that we are just like Neil Cavuto. What they don’t understand is that Neil Cavuto believes in the Bible, and he is looking for leadership, for a voice coming from Jerusalem. Speak to Neil Cavuto and the rest of the West in the name of the God of Israel, and you’ll get their respect. Otherwise they’ll just get confused, and you’ll be alone with a bunch of Arabs rioting on your border while you’re being investigated by the UN for shooting them.

The Western Financial System will Collapse in September as Palestine is Declared – How to Prepare

rafifarber The Jewish Libertarian Blog , , ,
This is what we'll see in September on Wall Street.

In this post I make certain specific predictions that I do think will come true, but if they don’t, keep in mind that I am not a prophet. I’m just a guy trying to be intellectually honest with how I see things. Yes, I could be wrong, but hear me out.

If you’ve been following the blog so far, you get the pattern. I take one piece of news and interpret it through a Nationalist Jewish faith-based lens. Today was such a flurry of activity that I can’t possibly analyze it all, but we’ll take one story and I’ll build a prediction around it.

I caught this in Ma’ariv, which is the newspaper I prefer to read since they pubish Moshe Feiglin and I figure they deserve my traffic at least. That and I like their layout. And most of all they’re in deep debt and are about to go bankrupt along with the rest of the Israeli media, so I give them a pity read.

Here’s a link to the story in Hebrew for those who want to read it. The basic gist of it is that the Likud playmakers got together and told Netanyahu to annex Judea and Samaria if the Arabs next door declare a State.

I’m in favor of this not for tactical reasons. Tactically it will fail because no one on the globe would recognize such an annexation, as they don’t even recognize the annexation of the Golan or of Jerusalem. So it won’t accomplish the goal of taking back the momentum in the international arena. The only thing that would do that is speaking in the name of God to the world from the Temple Mount and broadcasting a massive Jewish prayer rally on the Mount live, telling the rest of the West that their founders, the Jews, are back and ready to take the lead. But that won’t happen yet.

The importance of this story is rather the flickering flame it represents, the whisperings of Jewishness that are left in the nation devoid of true Jewish leadership. The voices are there, and while powerless, we should draw strength from them and know that all they need is the right leader to give them power.

What I heard today on the radio, 95.5, Reshet Bet, live broadcast from the Knesset of Netanyahu’s speech and opposition leader Livni’s “rebuttal,” made me laugh and cry simultaneously. We have a clueless leader who has no idea what is about to happen, repeating the same exact nonsense about “true peace,” with a “partner” that everyone’s been talking about since 1991. Rebutted by a clueless opposition leader that represents absolutely nothing different whatsoever, complaining about how Netanyahu has no vision when she doesn’t either. We’re like a bunch of blinded Samsons armed with a huge army feeling around for the pillars of the building. We just need a Philistinian to show us the way.

Livni quoted Herzl about Zionism, who said that Zionism needs the support of the world to succeed. Blind Livni was yelling at blind Netanyahu that he’s losing the support of the world and Zionism is dying. She’s right. It’s dying and it’s gonna go out with a blaze in September to be replaced by something more in tune with reality: A Zionism that doesn’t need “the world,” but rather needs God. We tend to call this Judaism.

Anyway, back in the Knesset full of blind Samsons, both sides were arguing about how to win the world back, because we need the world, because we have to survive as a people. A people of what? Panderers to the world whining about our need to survive? Nowhere in that literally Godforsaken Knesset did anyone mention a word about God. Only how much we need the world. God’s people yelling at each other about how we’re going to win the world back on our side and survive, while the world looks at us and laughs.

I always say that we will not win the world over until we lead them. Right now we’re leading them whether we want to or not. They are paying attention to everything we do because we lead them. And right now we’re leading them, unbeknownst to them, to oblivion, because the West is about to commit a crime no one in the history of the world has ever committed.

The West is about to forcibly give God’s land to someone other than the Jewish people. Something tells me He (The Big He) won’t stand for it, since He promised us that no nation would ever have a political foothold in Israel except for us, ever, and so it has been throughout history since Moses left us and Joshua conquered this place. That’s not about to change any time soon. Just an educated guess from a man who really believes in the God of the Bible.

As we all know, the Palestinians are going to declare a “State” through the UN in 4 months. Call me gutsy, but this, as far as I can tell, banking on the fact that God doesn’t break his promises to the Jewish People ever, is what is going to happen immediately following:

A few days after the UN vote and declaration, the Western financial system will suddenly collapse. First the EU, triggered by Greece, Spain, Ireland, and Portugal, all falling, dragging the rest of Europe with them. The next few days will see the rest of the West refusing to buy up American debt because they have no money, and the bond markets will collapse.

The New York Stock exchange will be in complete disarray, the United States government will have to default, and the DJIA will go down to about 5,000 in a matter of a few weeks.

While all this is happening, the Arabs will be crowding Israel’s border as we thrash around, alone, the Western World suddenly not giving a tweet about what’s going on in Israel because they’re busy catching falling traders from the roofs of buildings on Wall Street.

Some may see this as a “dark” prediction. But what it really is, is the beginning of a new world. A better one I believe.

So we’ll have to figure out what to do over here while the Old World leaves us and the new one takes form, with us as the only surviving “Western” country on the planet with any money whatsoever. We have 4 months to prepare. I’ll start by buying inverse financial ETF’s and put my money where my mouth is.

You?

Nakba Day, A Nation Defined by Jewish Lack of National Identity

rafifarber The Jewish Libertarian Blog , , ,
Diskin is worried about September. Good for him.

Two news pieces to review today from a faith based perspective. One is former Shabak (Israel Security Agency) head Yuval Diskin whining about how he’s scared for September, and that Israel will be in trouble if there is no movement on the diplomatic front. September, of course, is when the Arabs in Judea and Samaria will ask the UN General Assembly to recognize them as a State. Diskin is very worried about this, and so were the people in the room he was speaking to. Here’s why.

He was speaking to a group of enlightened people who all believe that we live in Israel to be a beacon of Western Civilization to the world, while in the meantime the rest of Western Civilization collapses all around us in a gluttony of debt and confusion. As the West collapses, they are unsure of how they will survive, of who will support Israel, because beyond enlightened Westernism, he and everyone else in that room have nothing.

The other piece of news I just saw today is that the American Postal service is collapsing and will need a taxpayer bailout above and beyond the $700 billion that was given to failing banks. This is just another rotting branch of what is the buckling American financial system.

Back to Diskin, he also said during his harrowing speech that Jewish terrorism is even worse than Palestinian terrorism, in his words. You can find this quote on page 3 of Thursday’s Israel Hayom newspaper in Hebrew. The question is, what Jewish terrorism is he talking about? The time when those two Jewish terrorists broke into that Arab home in Itamar and slit the throats of two parents, two children and a 3 month old baby, wanting to die holy deaths as martyrs?

Somehow I think he’s remembering his stories incorrectly. But seriously, he may be referring to the Jews who have prostrated themselves at the Temple Mount in a terroristic attempt to ignite a holy war. That’s just as bad I guess.

Why is Diskin and everyone in Tel Aviv University terrified about September? Because they know in their gut as we know in our minds that the West is just about bankrupt and losing its power to support itself, let alone support Israel. Israel may be the only financially sound Western Style democracy left on the planet, but that won’t stop a national collapse when what’s left of the Western World converges on Israel and recognizes Arab Palestine. When that happens, and America stops being a superpower, no one will support Israel, our little “Western Proxy,” and we’ll be doomed. That’s why they’re afraid.

The Jewish Perspective – Why we need not Fear September

I was listening to a lecture by Rabbi Uri Sherki the other day. I have a deep mistrust of almost all Rabbis of all shapes and sizes, because I believe that almost all of them are so stuck in the world of religion that they no longer understand that we are a nation. But Rabbi Sherki I trust because he understands history. He speaks like a national leader, not a religious one.

He interpreted Deuteronomy 32:21 in a way that made a lot of objective sense. The verse reads: “They angered me with non-Gods, riled me with nonsense. I will anger with with a non-Nation, rile them with a sickening People.”

For those who don’t know the context, this is Moses’s good bye poem to the Israelites. Rabbi Sherki interpreted it this way: A non-God is not an idol. Hebrew has a specific word for that. It’s “elil”. The word here, however, is lo-El, a phrase that is extremely rare in the Bible. “Lo-El” says Rabbi Sherki, is not an idol, but a philosophy of non-Godism. Not necessarily Atheism, but the philosophy that one’s opinion about God doesn’t really matter, as long as you play nice.

This is how the Jews see themselves as of right now. God is a nice thing to believe in, but the main thing is that you should be pragmatic, practical. It doesn’t matter if Gaza is yours. If it’s pragmatic, leave. If you say God gave it me, then you’re one of those religious zealots, a danger to society. In response to this non-God rhetoric, says God, I’m going to rile you with a non-Nation – not necessarily a nation that doesn’t exist, but a nation that exists insofar as you do not.

In other words, a nation that only exists to get rid of the Jews. A nation that plugs up the holes in our own national identity. The Palestinians don’t care about a State. They care about getting rid of the Jewish one. They are not a Nation. They are an anti-Nation. They only exist insofar as we are confused.

There is no need to fear September. When the non-State of Palestine is declared, the West will continue its freefall. With no one to protect us, we will have to fill the national void that the Palestinians are now occupying inside of us. The only thing to fill it with is ourselves, and of course, the Guider or our national history, God. The only One we need to Support Israel is the God of Israel.

When we all realize that we did not come back to Israel to be a Western enclave, but rather a Jewish one (not religious, but National), the void will be filled. When we realize that how we see God in our history does indeed matter, then we will be filled. When we realize who we are, the Palestinians will simply melt away. In all honesty, they will probably just leave voluntarily.

In order to come back to ourselves, we will need to be alone. We need not fear it, but embrace it. Bring on Palestinian Statehood. It’s just a name. An anti-nation can’t really accomplish anything, especially given the fact that two thirds of its budget is comprised of tax revenues that Israel actually gives it, and the other third is financial aid from the West.

Don’t fear being alone. When it happens, we’ll feel the pressure. When we do, we’ll realize that we’re not here to be the West. We’re here to lead the West. We don’t need the West to support Israel. We don’t need their aid, we don’t need their money, and we don’t need their vote in the UN. We don’t even need to BE in the UN. It’s not that without them, we’re doomed. Its the other way around. They’re collapsing. We’re growing. Without us, the West is doomed. Soon Europe and the US will be asking for loans from the Jewish people.

Spiritual and national growth, especially for the Jewish people who are the most stiff necked of any people on the planet, can only happen in isolation. But worry not. God is with us in our isolation. Better to be alone with Him than to be surrounded with friends like Barack Obama.

Hitchhikers Guide to Samaria, Literally

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Hitchhiking in Samaria. Easy as pie.

High gas prices, oil belonging to Arabs, environmental issues, traffic jams, parking fees – it’s better to just carpool. Not only do we carpool in Samaria, we have a culture of hitchhiking which we call tremping. In America, it’s not only dangerous, it’s also illegal. One would not dare stick out his thumb anymore.

Who knows where you’ll end up by getting into a stranger’s car or taking a stranger into your own car. Just think back to that scene in “There’s Something About Mary” with the 7 Minute Abs guy. Great movie.

Anyway, in Israel, we are all family trying to make our lives work. We all try to help each other out whenever possible. Every morning, Rafi, Baron, and Alix stick out their fingers to “tremp” to work, and they are not the only ones. Many Samarians rely on others to get them to university, work, the mall, the doctor, the bank, and other places when they don’t have a car.

Even though Rafi has a car, he would rather leave it home with Natasha and Tzivia in case of an emergency instead of spending the gas money and adding another to the morning traffic jam just to get himself, one person, to work. Rafi also bypasses the heavy Tel Aviv traffic by getting out and running through an agricultural field (with the added benefit of bringing home fresh fallen grapefruits). Alix “tremps” to the train station and bypasses the traffic on the highway by riding the train straight to work at the Azrieli towers in Tel Aviv.

On the other hand, when Natasha goes food shopping in town with the baby, she needs to bring the car for the baby and the groceries. On the way, she always tries to pick up those who are going her way. That’s how the system works. Everyone helps out when they can and is helped when they need. Sort of like communism, except without Stalin. (Rafi’s comment.)

Many people believe that God puts people in the right place at the right time so that everyone gets where they need to go at the right time. And everyone has at least one special “tremping” story worth noting to illustrate this point, so here is an example.

The Farber family had just arrived at Ben Gurion airport packed to full capacity after a trip to visit family in Miami. Five suitcases, two backpacks, a stroller, and a baby with no car seat and no way of getting home. At baggage claim, they realized that one bag was missing, leaving them with one less. This allowed the Farbers to be able to “schelp” all their belongings without any help, technically speaking.

They loaded everything onto the train at the airport after pushing everything from baggage claim, to customs, and to the train. Throughout the journey, strangers helped the wacky family with their massive amounts of luggage filled with goodies and gadgets from America. After one train switch in Tel Aviv (this involved pushing everything in and out of a couple of elevators), the family arrived at Rosh HaAyin train station, a 20 minute drive from home. A soldier on the train recognized the family and asked for a ride home in their car since he lived in the neighborhood (a common practice on the train), but alas, no car.

This confused the guy considering the four suitcases, two backpacks, stroller, and baby. Rafi explained to him that a bus was coming and that he planned to shove everything in the luggage compartment (except for the baby), though the bus stop was a 20 minute walk from the station. The soldier decided to help the family with the suitcases all the way to the bus stop. He then informed the couple that his father was passing by and would be glad to take some luggage with him, which is what indeed happened.

Some five minutes later, while waiting for the bus which was already late, a huge van pulled up to offer a ride. Explaining that it was impossible with the luggage and the baby, the driver showed them that everything fit in his van and he was equipped with a baby seat as well. They all got in, basically in shock. As they drove off, it started pouring rain. He dropped them off at their door with everything. They made it home with everything, except of course for the missing fifth suitcase from the airport. That was delivered to their door a few days later after arguing with the lost luggage driver guy who didn’t want to drive “all the way out there” and preferred to meet them in Tel Aviv.

They insisted. He came.

Everything had worked out, they were home, thanks to fellow Jews and thanks to God for putting them in the right places at the right times.

Meet the Families

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Rafi needs a haircut. He always does.

Natasha & Rafi

We, both Rafi and Natasha, were born in Miami, Florida, on October 9, 1983. This wasn’t planned, but it turned out just fine. We also went to the same elementary school, a small Jewish day school in south Miami. No, we weren’t elementary school sweethearts or anything. In fact we never said more than two words to each other in 6 years because we were both shy nerds.

Natasha was the first to make the move to Israel. She grew up in the Young Judaea Zionist youth movement and her connection to Israel grew as time passed. After spending a year in the Jewish State, she realized something very simple: As a member of the Jewish nation, she had to return home. Our people have been praying and dreaming of our return to the Holy Land ever since the Roman expulsion, and now we can just go. For free. As easy as that is, God doesn’t make decisions for anyone, so she decided, on her own steam, to leave her birthplace for the Promised Land.

Meanwhile, Rafi was studying in New York. He always wanted to move to Israel but never had the courage to do it alone. One day, on Israel’s 59th Independence Day, he got an email. It was this girl from elementary school. She was kind of cute. An email exchange started, followed a few months later by Rafi getting an El Al plane ticket. The rest, as they say, is Jewish history.

Tzivia the Samarian, looking all Samarian.

We became “settlers” as they call us, simply because we were looking for a nice suburban area that we could afford, with people we could get along with and share a community. It only took a pilot weekend to decide we wanted to put down roots in Samaria, the Shomron.  We’re here because God gave this land to us and we have a Divine responsibility to live on it.

Rafi writes the content for Settlers of Samaria. And just as Moses wrote about himself in the third person in the Bible, Rafi emulates Biblical heroes by doing the same. He’s a marketing manager. Natasha is an English and gymnastics teacher.

Tzivia was born on June 1 2010. She’s a baby, and as of yet does not know where she lives. But she eats a lot of food, that’s for sure.

The Barixes

The Barixes, trying to take an artistic photo of themselves, semi successfully.

(Rafi did not write this part. His footnotes are in italics.)

Hi! We’re Baron and Alix and we were both born in the UK! Baron was born in England and I was born in Glasgow, Scotland!

(The “Barixes” are not their real last names. They were given that name by Rafi when he just met them and didn’t remember their last names, but did remember that they were Baron and Alix, so he called them the Barixes. They kept the name. Rafi suspects they’ll have it legally changed soon.)

We grew up in what can only be described as the most tamest of tame environments, we wonder now if that could have been the inspiration to move to the biggest jungle of them all- The Land of Israel!

At the young age of 19, we both came to Israel- Baron served in the Golani  fighting unit in the Israeli Defense Forces and Alix learned Hebrew in Jerusalem. Our paths crossed several times before eventually deciding we were destined to be here together when we accidentally met on the first day of University!

We love Judea and Samaria…. and our little boy Gidon- who is one year old!

(Gidon is quiet and likes playing with Tzivia’s toy cow. Tzivia doesn’t mind.)

Moshe & Suzy

Nothing more need be said in this caption.

The family so far consists of Moshe, Suzy, and little Aaron.  Moshe moved to the Holy Land at the age of 3 and grew up with his British family in Raanana.

(Moshe is the brawn behind Settlers of Samaria. He speaks fluently, but because he moved to Israel when he was 3, he can’t spell so well. So Rafi fixes everything. Rafi moved to Israel when he was 24, so his spelling is fine.)

After completing the army and religious studies (yeshiva) he is now trained to teach magic and circus arts to kids all around the country. (Moshe does not, as of yet, own a Samarian circus elephant.) He has a strong passion for the Holy Land and what it means to be a Jew and to live here.

Suzy, his wife, moved to the Holy Land only 3 years ago, after feeling for some years that she could never quite fit in anywhere else in the world. She now works in marketing in the center of the country and in her (very little) spare time, loves to read and go for long walks. (There is no beach here. We’re in Samaria.) Although she has adapted to a lot of the traditions and customs, she makes sure to keep a steady stream of English tea available in the house so she never completely loses touch with her roots.

Sweet little Aaron has learned a lot of important lessons so far- like how to laugh, walk, play and most of all, how to make sure his parents never have a moment to get bored! He is the reason we want to build foundations here. He is our future. (Rafi is worried.)

The Israel Defense Forces are Really Weird

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Rafi is the third from the right. Last day of basic training.

During basic training in the Israeli Army, I experienced a lot. Not all of the experiences were good, and not all of them involved bathrooms with reverse plumbing. But some of them did.

You may ask, “What, prithee, is reverse plumbing?” I can answer that. I didn’t major in philosophy for nothing. Reverse plumbing is when you’re in a situation like basic training in an army base that predates the British mandate. Back in British Premandate Time, plumbing was only just invented, you see, and they got everything right except the direction the water has to go in and the fact that the pipes have to actually not have gaping holes in them, being that if they do, the entire raisin d’frenchword of plumbing becomes defeated by a vote of everything to one, give or take one.

So I was in “Tironut” for a month, which means basic training, most of which was fine except for the bathrooms and getting yelled at by people of the age requiring daily usage of Clearasil pads. In the end, I ended up knowing how to use and clean an M16 and guard an area, which mostly involves standing around scratching oneself in several areas while strapped with something of a bloated plumber belt packed with 5 magazines loaded with 29 bullets made in Oconomowoc, WI for Government Law Enforcement Use Only, making sure that no masochistic wackos from the highway across from me invaded the army training base. Oconomowoc is in fact a real city, named after Shlomo Hayim Oconomowoc, the first Zionist Native American who had the ingenious idea of shipping all his M16 magazines to Israel).

After I guarded the Pre British Mandate Base with Reverse Plumbing, ingeniously named “Camp 80”, I was shipped to another army city called Tzrifin (literally “Bunks”) where I learned how to be a delivery boy. The course involved 7 days of classes, one of which included the issue of why one should even pay attention to complaints about service in the first place and how to tell which way was north on a map. Yup.

I really was not sure how to answer these question. Later it was revealed to me that one should deal with complaints because of “snow balls” that can get bigger and bigger if you don’t deal with them. And north was up, assuming the letters were all in the right direction.

So during the review session when the commander person asked why we should deal with complaints, I said, “Snow balls,” and she gave me a weird look.

Before the course even started, we were given an emotional motivational speech that required some serious shoveling at the end about how delivery boys are the key to the success of the entire army. The guy began his motivational speech this way:

Guy (whose name is actually Amos): What do you think was the main failure with the Second Lebanon War?
Us: Confused Look
Guy: It was the fact that there were no delivery boys! They didn’t want to go up to the North because they were afraid of the rockets! So they just stayed home! (*Note: this is actually true.) That’s why we’re recruiting you, so you can be the new and improved Second Generation Delivery Boys all loaded and ready for the Third Lebanon War which will start whenever we start bombing Iran! You’ll bring the stuff to the fighters who will go into Lebanon and shoot terrorists and get condemned by the UN for excessive use of force! Without the delivery boys, the army is nothing! You are the key to the future of the nation of Israel! Without you, I’d be dead!
Us: OK.

So I am now part of that excessive use of force all the nations of the world keep talking about. Without delivery boys like me, there would be no force at all. So I got all inspired and did the best in the entire class of 16. I even did better than the Russians, and most of them were in the Russian army previously where if you didn’t do totally awesome they would force you to play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded handgun and make you go first.

Then, today, I got to the base where I was actually going to do the delivering, only to discover that I wasn’t going to be a delivery boy at all. All I’m going to do is stack up humus up in a giant pile for the REAL delivery boys to ship off and deliver.

So when the next war breaks out, and God knows it’ll be soon, just know that I was the guy who put humus in giant piles for the delivery boys to deliver to the guys who shoot the terrorists and get condemned by the UN.

Without me, there’d be no condemnation by the UN, so just blame it on me. I take responsibility for it all.

Unfortunately, the IDF doesn’t have much use for a humor writer.

Honest FAQ

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Got questions? We have answers.

Do you really need my money?

No. We are all working adults, and we earn enough money to make end’s meet. On good months we can even put some saving’s away. Rafi is a marketing manager, Natasha an English and gymnastics teacher. Moshe is a magic teacher and magician, and is in school in the University Center of Ariel (also in Samaria) learning computer science. Suzy works in a big company in Tel Aviv. The Barrixes also work in a big building doing corporate stuff near in the Azrielli Towers, Israel’s equivalent of the World Trade Center.

Then why should I donate to you?

Because unlike us, there are people in Israel who do need it. If we all end up taking out a mortgage, we will all end up buying a $200,000 house for $400,000. The difference, all interest payments, will all go to some bank executive who will use it to buy caviar and gold plated hubcaps for his limited edition Bentley GT 5000 whatever. If, however, you enable us to build houses without having to take a mortgage from a bank,  we will pay every dollar forward to causes in Israel, month by month, until the entire principle is given away.

How can you afford to do that?

Because, as said before, we are working, wage earning people with jobs. A $200,000 mortgage would cost us nearly $1300 a month for 20 years, which we would not be able to forward to charity. We would barely able to afford paying our dear bank executive so he can buy his caviar while we split our toilet paper in an attempt to squeeze by.

We don’t earn that much and we’re not rich. But if we build a house in cash with no mortgage over our heads, we would easily be able to pay $500-$1000 a month to charity. Month by month, everything would be paid forward, all to people who actually need the money and have no use for caviar and golden hubcaps, so craved by the CEO of some bank giant.

What’s the deal with the stick figures?

I (Rafi) can’t draw, but I find that basic illustrations say a lot. I did the same with my wedding invitation I drew up in 20 seconds on an oily napkin at my father in law’s house in Miami, Florida.

Why should I trust you?

This is our favorite question. Here’s the answer. The Jewish Nation has historically tried to escape its destiny and mission. That mission is to be a Light unto the Nations of the world. We want to be just like everyone else, to be left alone, not to be paid attention to. This is the entire purpose, driving force, and meaning of the Middle East “Peace Process”, the process by which we will finally be left alone after 3,000 years, or so we believe. We just want quiet and for everyone to stop looking at us as if we were some historical anomaly and why the heck are we still here etc.

God will never let any of that happen. The Jews will never be left alone.  We will either be a Light unto the world, or we will be thrown to the wolves. Again.

That’s where we come in. We, the Settlers of Samaria, are trying to be that Light. We understand the Jewish People’s mission and destiny, and we are deeply aware that the world looks to the Jews for moral leadership, whether consciously or not. When we don’t provide that leadership, God leaves us, we are hated, and the rest is Jewish history.

As such, we cannot afford to desecrate God’s name and endanger the Jewish Nation by publicly stealing other people’s hard-earned cash. Everything you give will be paid forward.

How will I receive my tax deductible receipt?

Give us your name and email. When we pay your money forward, we will donate in your name – NOT in ours, and we will email you a copy of the receipt.

Why aren’t you a 503C?

We aren’t yet, but we’re in the process of becoming one.

What are your administrative costs?

A few thousand dollars a year that we spend out of our own pockets for internet marketing purposes, printing brochures, and fueling our cars to drive to different places to speak. None of your donation goes to administrative costs. It all goes to the houses, and then from there to charity. All of it.

How much money are you going to raise?

$603,550 for three couples. It’s not just an arbitrary number. It is the number of military-ready Israelites, our great grandparents, recorded in the Bible as leaving Egypt on their way to conquer the Holy Land from the Canaanites. $200,000 is enough to build a house. Mulitply that by three for $600,000. Add $3,550 for effect.

When will my donation be paid forward?

Once we raise $603,550, we will begin building. Once the money is paid to all contractors involved, we will then begin setting aside $500 – $1000 of our salaries every month to be paid forward to causes in Israel until the entire $603,550 is paid in full.

Can I decide which charity my donation will be paid forward to?

Yes, provided that the charity of your choice does not go against our values and is one that supports Israel. You can also opt to have your money go back in to Settlers of Samaria to support the next interest-free house.


Settlers of Samaria

rafifarber Uncategorized

Charitable giving has a serious flaw. If you give charity, it may be used to feeding the hungry, or donating to a fund that helps new immigrants, or a shelter for battered women, or supporting victims of Islamic terror.

We understand. We do that too. After all, we’re not poor and we are hard-working, able-bodied adults. We all give a tenth of our salaries to charity every month. But none of us can deny the fact that once we give our money to a worthy cause, that money is spent and gone the next day. We can only hope it had its effect, but that’s just it. We can only hope.

Were the hungry fed? Yes, but they are hungry the next day. Were the new immigrants helped? Yes, but they continue to struggle. Were the terror victims supported? Of course, but their lifelong nightmares rage on. And where is your money? It was used to buy much needed relief, and we thank you. But the effect is at most temporary.

Settlers of Samaria changes all that by changing the entire concept of charity at its base. We have learned that stable and long term charitable services are the way to do this.

Instead of giving money that will in the end be used up, we give you the chance to make your donation to Israel permanent and everlasting, forever a monument to your contribution to the Jewish State.

Giving money to Israel through us, allows us to physically build a house in Israel, avoiding all bank charges and interest rates on mortgages. The result being that a $200,000 home can be paid back in 15 years instead of 30 at the same rate.

But who are we paying the money back to? There’s no bank. The answer is we’re not paying it back. We’re paying it forward. All that money we didn’t have to pay to a bank, because of you, gets paid forward to the hungry, the terrorist victims, and the new immigrants.

The result? You’ve given your money to the causes you believe in. And you’ve also built a house, a permanent, practical, real monument to you, our partner in building the Land of Israel.