Come sit around the fire while Crazy Economic Collapse Uncle Rafi explains why there is no way out for Europe in the simplest terms you’ve ever heard. The key to international finance is this: If a 7 year old can’t understand it, chances are it’s a bunch of bullshit.

I read some more crap today on Bloomberg about the grand master bazooka artillery plan that the European Central Bank has to come up with to “solve the European debt crisis.” Something about “recycling funds via financial instruments through the IMF and out it’s newly defined cloaca that excretes Euros” or something. I had no idea what I was reading. It sounded so sophisticated and financish that it made whoever wrote the stupid thing sound really smart. But I’ll put my life on it that the writer had no idea what the hell he was even writing about.

It reminded me of a psychology class I took in college where I wrote this paper having absolutely no clue what I was even saying, but it sounded very sophisticated. Don’t ask what grade I got.

So here’s the short answer of why there is no escape: This is a cultural problem. In hebrew, Talmudic speak, it’s called a tarbus ra’ah, a bad culture. The basic problem is this. You have X amount of wealth in Europe. But you have X+50 amount of debt, that X wealth can’t cover. So, you have one of 3 choices and a Wild Card:

1) Work your butt off to create X+50 wealth out of the current X wealth you have to pay off all your debt.

2) Print X+50 Euros, thereby not creating any new wealth, but rather diluting X existing wealth to smaller units to make it look like X+50, but really it can only purchase X because prices will go up. Anyway, pay back your debt in cheap Euros and watch the middle class disappear and possibly revolt.

3) Call it a day and default, and watch the global economic system cascade.

Wild Card) Sell Vatican City to the highest bidder for X+100, give the Jewish People 50 for all the stuff that was stolen from us over the past 2000 years and stuffed in Vatican vaults, and pay off the debt with the rest.

Choice 1 ain’t gonna happen. Choice 2 might happen, but then people will lose faith in the Euro, and 3 will quickly ensue anyway. The Wild Card is an option, but I doubt the Pope has the guts.

In life, the truest things are the most simple to understand. Ain’t no complicated “financial recycling” gonna do nothin’. Either you got the money, or you don’t. And you don’t, so you gotta print it, because you won’t give up your precious 35 hour work week and welfare systems, and if you even try, the entire Unionized continent will go on strike because they think they DESERVE printed money, driving you even DEEPER into debt than before.

Heh, good luck Europe. See you on the short side.