How I explain Israeli elections to my 4 and 3 year old

Walking my 4-year old to Gan this morning. She sees a picture of Lieberman on the fence. She asks who it is. I say “That’s a very bad man.”

“Why is he bad?”

“Because he wants to take our freckles away (freckles is our word for shekels) and if we don’t give him our freckles, he wants to put us in jail.”

Then we get to the Gan and there’s a picture of Bibi looking my child in the face with that sneer. And I tell her he’s really bad, too. So she asks why he’s on the wall. I tell her that he’s the one who tells everyone which Gan to go to and if anyone tries to go to a different Gan without him saying yes, he will put them in jail.

He’s also the biggest one taking away all your freckles. And under him is Yigal Freaking Lahav the Retroactive Tax Douche. (I didn’t use those words.) I told her that he was SO bad that not only did he take our freckles away, but he told us he was only going to take 100 away, and then he took away 200!

Elections, I explain, is when all the bad people who take your shekels away come together and make you pick which one of them is going to be the biggest one. Then they all come together in one group anyway and take even more stuff away from you. But since they want us to pick one of them to be the biggest one, some people think that the one they pick will take more freckles away from somebody else to give it to them.

“That sounds bad,” says my 4 year old.

“Yes. It’s very bad.” (1:17)

 

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3 thoughts on “How I explain Israeli elections to my 4 and 3 year old

  1. Egon Spengler: There’s something very important I forgot to tell you.
    Peter Venkman: What?
    Spengler: Don’t cross the streams.
    Venkman: Why?
    Spengler: It would be bad.
    Venkman: I’m fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, “bad”?
    Spengler: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
    Ray Stantz: Total protonic reversal!
    Venkman: Right. That’s bad. Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

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