To Hell With The Rabanut

אהוב את המלאכה
ושנא את הרבנות
ואל תתוודע לרשות

That’s Avos DeRebbi Natan. Love work, hate the Rabanut, and don’t say anything to the authorities.

Or in libertarian language: Love working in the private sector. Hate the Rabanut. And don’t let the government know how much stuff you or anyone else has, because the bastards will take it all.

Recently, there was a big breakthrough for freedom in Israel. Who would have thought? It was somehow ruled legal to issue private kosher certification, not sanctioned by the state. Amazing! Now people can actually choose what kosher certificate they want, which they trust, which they don’t, which they want to picket, which they want to praise, which they love and which they hate. Which certification they consider to be, of their own free will, ultra mega crazy whopping kosher up all the halachic chumra wazoos, and which is basically the same as a bacon cheeseburger on Pesach that also happens to be Yom Kippur.

Choose. What a concept.

Up until now, choosing was illegal. And the Rabanut, the official state sponsored body of piggish control freak “Rabbis”, is really pissed off. Because they will no longer have a monopoly on the Kashrut industry, so they can’t charge as much, because when supply goes up baby, price comes down. The Rabbis don’t like this.

You may ask, how then is there a Badatz kashrut industry, if private certification is illegal? Because, the best thing about Haredim, the so called “ultra orthodox” is that they are not afraid of the State. And that is the best thing about them. Unlike the religious Zionists who are nearly 100% state worshipers, the Haredim will not be pushed around. Yes, they will demand money from the state and leverage their power to get more of it. But so does every single other sector in Israel. I don’t love them for that. But at least they won’t be pushed around.

So when the Rabanut of the State of Israel originally said they control all of the kosher certification industry in Israel, the Haredim basically gave them the finger and continued with their own certification, which was then incorporated into the State kosher certification system because the State knows it cannot fight the Haredim on this. If you can’t destroy them, assimilate them into the system. Give them a piece of the State pie and they’ll shut up.

It’s the same with marriage. When the Rabanut originally said they control all of marriage in the State, the Haredim basically gave them the finger again, said “screw you State, we’ll marry ourselves” and the State couldn’t fight them, so the Haredim have their own Edah Haredit marriage license program where you don’t have to go through any Rabanut bullshit.

I know this because I myself got my state marriage license (which I now regret, it was before I was a libertarian) through Edah Haredit. All I did was pay them 400 shekels and give them a note from Rabbi George Finkelstein that I was Jewish and so was my wife to be. And I said, “What do I have to do now?” And the guy with the big beard said, “Everything kehilchasa.” Everything according to Jewish law.

I said OK. Then we got married. Then I went back there to pick up my license. And that was it. No getting a Rabanut approved Rabbi. No Rabanut agent spying on my wife as she goes to the Mikva before the Chupah and signing off on it. No handing in any kosher certificate to the state spies. No prima nocta to the local “Chief Rabbi”. Nothing. Just 400 shekels and a letter.

Rabbi Seth Farber, no relation, has this whole organization called Itim that is designed to guide people through the disgustingness that is the Rabanut gauntlet to get married. I say to hell with State marraige altogether and do whatever you want, but nobody, absolutely nobody, should ever voluntarily go through that crap when you can just go through Edah Haredit and do nothing.

So anyway…back to Kashrut. The Rabanut is fighting back. Nobody should be allowed to choose. Choosing your own kosher certification is dangerous. It will lead to the end of the Jewish People as we know it. Just like it did for the 2,000 years when there was no official state Kosher monopoly. (I really despise these people.)

I didn’t read the article, I don’t want to, but I read the headline. Bagatz, Israel’s Supreme Court, is allowing the Rabanut to represent itself as they challenge the legality of private kosher certification.

Hate the Rabanut. May you bunch of Hillul Hashems who do nothing but make people hate Judaism and Halacha, lose badly.

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