Adventures with Yishmael on Har Habayit – Riot on the Temple Mount

Well that was interesting. I’m the guy in the blue jeans and brown shirt who kind of looks like me.

I woke up this morning at 4:45 to go to the Mikveh and then to Har Habayit with Moshe Feiglin. He stayed in Jerusalem apparently so I drove there myself for the first time though I’ve gone with Moshe several times before, and parked on Derech Hevron because looking for a parking spot in or around the Old City scares me. When I got there at 7:30 it took about half an hour for the police to let us in. Then we had the “No praying no bowing no kneeling no singing, no religious activity” thing and the customary full body search for any religious articles including a complete emptying of the contents of my wallet just like my two year old Daffy does when I leave it within her reach. In case there is religious contraband tucked away in one of the pockets or folds of my wallet.

We get up there, me in my Vibram 5-fingers, others in flip-flops, Feiglin in socks because he intends to go right up to Kipat HaSelah, Dome of the Rock so he can’t have any shoes on at all. I was intending to go one step closer than I usually go, but I’m not ready to go up to the Dome yet, and Moshe asked us politely not to anyway, and to leave the דין כיבוש stuff to him, no problem with that.

We get to the gate and immediately we hear in the background some Alla-hu Akbars. They are faint and I don’t mind them. I know they mean to insult me and intimidate me, but I can’t but wholeheartedly agree with them. God is great. Thank you Arabs for noticing, and for timing your chants with the entrance of God’s representatives here, us. So I can’t but feel flattered.

As we continue on, the chants get louder and more Arabs begin to congregate around us, fine, no problem. Nobody has violated the non aggression principle yet. Everyone has a right to chant God is Great at me as much as they want. I keep smiling and walking slowly. Heavily armed police surround us.

Non Jewish tourists, mostly Jesus-worshipers, stare at us and wonder why we are the focus of all the Akbars. Two old ladies from the Jesus group join us, apparently from Australia. They want to be part of the excitement, apparently.

And then the trigger. The Waqf guy sent each time to oversee that we don’t do anything religious is standing in front of us. Then Moshe goes up to one of the police guys and tells him that it was agreed with the higherups in the police department that at least for part of the time, the Waqf guy would not be our escort. So, to the police guy’s credit, he starts to escort the Waqf guy away from us. A scuffle ensues, and the Waqf guy is removed.

And then the chants get really loud and the number of screaming Arabs multiplies to hundreds, possibly over a 1000, but I’d have to see an aerial picture.

The news says that “a couple of young Arabs began screaming” but that is quite far from what was happening. Arabs of all ages began converging on us, men, women, a few kids, young and old alike, כל העם מקצה as they say in Sodom. מנער ועד זקן טף ונשים.

They start getting closer, and I start feeling a bit smushed. My heart rate only now begins to jump up a bit. Just a bit. Police are on all sides of us pushing away Arabs jumping in our direction.

The old Jesus ladies try to calm us down and say, “Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you Lord!” One Lord for every two Jesuses. The Jesus-thanking is not helping me slow my heart rate, and I really feel caught between Esav and Yishmael now, though Yishmael wants to kill me and Esav just wants me to thank Jesus. I just want to daven, but the Jewish policemen for sure are not going to be happy about that, and they’re busy at the moment pushing away rioters so I’d rather not give them a hard time.

The police turn us around about 1/5th into our circuit. We’re headed back. Michael Puah has the camera, telling everyone to calmly smile, and Moshe is in the middle walking calmly as he always does. As we head back, I see one rock the size of a grapefruit fly above me and land about 10 feet behind me. So I stop looking at Feiglin in favor of keeping my eyes out for any rocks headed toward my skull.

I didn’t see any others.

One of the Jesus ladies asks me what group this is. I say it’s Feiglin’s group. She says who? I say Moshe Feiglin. Sudden recognition and excitement on her face. “Oh, Moshe Feiglin?! Where is he? Can I shake his hand?!”

“Sure,” I say. “He’s over there, in the suit.” She rushes up to him and shakes his hand.

“We’re with you,” she says to Moshe, “the nations are with you. We’re from Australia. Thank you Jesus!” Moshe shakes her hand and smiles back at her.

We get off Har Habayit. Then a Mahane Yehuda-looking Jew sees Feiglin and immediately insists on a picture with him.

“אני לא תומך בך” he says. “I am not one of your supporters,” “אבל אתה בוודאי תהיה ראש הממשלה הבא”. “But you will definitely be the next prime minister.”

He takes a picture, still holding his cigarette, with Moshe. We disperse.

The police now have two choices for next month. Ban Moshe Feiglin from Har Habayit, or ban Arabs from Har Habayit while Moshe is there. Let’s see what they do.

The worst part about the whole experience was not the Arab rioters. Rioting is what they’re good at and it doesn’t disappoint me. It was not the rocks, as I can easily dodge them. And it was not the fact that the rioters were not expelled from Har Habayit instead of us, who were being peaceful. I expect nothing from the police, and the fact that they prevented Arabs from physically attacking us (rocks aside) is more than I expected. Good for them.

No, the worst part was as I was driving away I hear on the news that “Knesset Member and Vice Knesset Chairman Moshe Feiglin was removed from Har Habayit today along with a group of right wing activists after rioters began shouting at them and throwing rocks.”

They had the chutzpa to call ME a “RIGHT WING ACTIVIST?!”

GROSS!

Check in next month for more “Adventures with Yishmael on Har Habayit!”

A Jewish Interpretation of The Four Blood Moons. Some Purim Torah.

There’s some hoopla going on about the fact that there will be a tetrad of total lunar eclipses in the next year and a half that fall out on the first day of Pesach and first day of Succot 2014, and then again on the first day of Pesach and Succot 2015. In between those four “blood moons” so-called because the moon turns red with the Earth’s shadow, there will be a total solar eclipse on Rosh Chodesh Nissan 2015.

The last time this happened, when all four total lunar eclipses fell out on Pesach and Succot, was in 1967-68. The time before that was 1949-50. And then before that 1493-94. As for a total solar eclipse happening on Rosh Chodesh Nissan right smack in the middle, I don’t know if that has ever happened before.

Pastor John Hagee, who I have always found mesmerizing but rather creepy, is going all out about this stuff predicting the second coming of Jesus and whatnot. He wrote about it, was featured on Fox News about it, gave a three part sermon on the coming of the Rapture about it, music played in the background during the more emotional Jesusish parts, he kept saying over and over “the King is Coming” and referring to Psukim with bad translations and incorrect chapter/verse numbers.

Hagee wants to say that four blood moons signifies something about the Jews, 1493-94 being the expulsion from Spain (it was actually 1492), 1949-50 being the founding of Israel (it was actually 1948) and 1967-68 being the reunification of Jerusalem, which is on the dot. Therefore, something big is supposed to happen in 2014-15 involving the Jews and Israel, and Hagee expects it to be the Rapture, the Second Coming, either, both, whatever, I don’t know.

Hagee takes a verse from Yoel which he calls 2:32, but which does not actually exist. The verse is 3:4. He erroneously places it in chapter two because along with most Christians reading a book that is not theirs in a language not theirs, he doesn’t know how to read. Chapters 1 and 2 concern the past, being the locust plague Yoel describes. Chapters 3 and 4 concern the future, which Yoel is comparing to the locust plague that had just happened. In any case, the verse Hagee quotes is this one:

הַשֶּׁמֶשׁ יֵהָפֵךְ לְחֹשֶׁךְ, וְהַיָּרֵחַ לְדָם–לִפְנֵי, בּוֹא יוֹם יְהוָה, הַגָּדוֹל, וְהַנּוֹרָא.

“The sun will turn to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great terrible day of the Lord.”

Well, OK, that seems to be talking about a solar and lunar eclipse, so maybe there’s something to this. But there’s a lot that Hagee is missing. I’ll fill some of it in. Some of this stuff comes from a friend of mine who’s into seeing signs and such.

The three religions that sprang from ancient Israel are governed by three different calendars. Islam has a purely lunar calendar. Christianity a fully solar calendar. Judaism is a combination of both, with leap lunar years to compensate for the differences in the calendars. We are currently in such a lunar leap year. The moon represents Islam, which is loosely identified with Yishmael. The sun, Christianity, loosely identified with Edom, or Esav.

The generally accepted Rabbinic view of the battle of Gog and Magog on Israel is that Edom and Yishmael will battle each other on Israel’s territory. Israel will not be directly involved, but will only be caught in the crossfire. In other words, Christianity and Islam will duke it out over here for whatever reason.

The first question that occurred to me when seeing the coincident dates of 1493, 1949, and 1967 was 1967 and 1949 I get. But why 1493? Forget about being a year late, but really, was the expulsion from Spain all that cosmic? We’ve been expelled from lots of places. It was traumatic, but earth shattering day-of-the-Lord? Not really.

The answer is, a tetrad lunar eclipse, if it does signify anything, has nothing to do with Jews. The moon is Islam. It has to do with Muslims. And 1493 was indeed a big year for Islam. It was the year they lost Europe. So was 1949, the year the Muslims lost the war against Israel. They were still fighting in 1948. The armistice and defeat was in 1949. If the tetrad lunar eclipses signal something about Jews, it would have been 1948, but 1949 was the defeat of Islam in Israel, not the founding of the State. In 1967 they lost Jerusalem and it happened in 6 days, so that one was on the dot.

As for a solar eclipse happening on Rosh Chodesh Nissan, that was the day when the Jewish People received their first national commandment, the first מצוה. The Mitzva of the calendar.

הַחֹדֶשׁ הַזֶּה לָכֶם, רֹאשׁ חֳדָשִׁים:  רִאשׁוֹן הוּא לָכֶם, לְחָדְשֵׁי הַשָּׁנָה.

Rabbinically translated, “The new moon will mark the start of each month for you, and this month (Nisan) will be the first month of the year.”

Giving someone their own calendar is symbolic of freeing them from the forced calendar of slavery. But why should the new moon on the first signify a new month? Why not the full moon on the 15th, which would be counted as the first? In other words, why count from new moon to new moon rather than from full moon to full moon? After all, Israel were still slaves at that point, on Nissan 1. The 10th plague hadn’t happened yet. It wouldn’t happen for another two weeks. Why start the calendar now? At least wait until the deal is sealed and they’ve gotten out of Egypt.

In fact, now that I think of it, all of the beginning of Exodus chapter 12 is temporally displaced. Moshe warns Pharaoh of the 10th plague in chapter 11, warning that it will happen at midnight on the 15th. Then chapter 12 goes back in time 14 days about what God said to Moshe on the first of the month. Then it skips forward to the 15th and Israel gets out the next morning.

The answer is that by the first, God started the Mitzvot, which began with the calendar, and moved to the Pesach, Matza, the blood on the doorposts etc. By then, even though while technically still in Egypt, the fog of slavery had lifted, and all the people had to do was follow God and stay out of the way. Those who followed were saved. Those who didn’t, who knows.

If the solar eclipse next Rosh Chodesh Nisan means anything, and I’m not conceding that it does, then it could mean that Israel’s dependence on Christianity, Edom, AKA the US, will end on that date, just as its dependence on Egypt ended on that date even though Egypt didn’t give up until two weeks later.

So a combination of lunar eclipses on Pesach and Succot and a solar eclipse on Rosh Chodesh Nisan, if it signifies anything, would signify that both Christianity and Islam will block each other out, perhaps by fighting each other.

It is also significant that the final lunar eclipse of the four will occur on Succot, the very holiday focused on in the Battle of Gog and Magog on Israel. As for the significance of 2015 itself, my friend and I have been thinking about that for months before either of us knew about the four blood moons.

There are two things notable about 2015. First, it will be a shmitah year, when debts are liquidated. The last shmitah year was 2007-08, a year of a LOT of debt liquidation. The shmita before that was 2000-01, the end of the Nasdaq bubble and a LOT of debt liquidation. Another notable shmitah year was 1987, the year of the Black Monday market crash. Before that, 1980, the peak of interest rates and the 1980 gold bull top. 1973 was the year of stagflation, the first time the American economy experienced both stagnation and inflation together.

But 2015 has something else going for it. The Hebrew year will be תשעו, written fully התשעו, or rearranged תשועה, meaning “salvation”. That is 5776, starting in September 2015.

I am no kabbalist, but what follows is a translation from my friend’s blog. Let’s be cute and call this Purim Torah:

וַיְהִי בִּימֵי אֲחַשְׁוֵרוֹשׁ הוּא אֲחַשְׁוֵרוֹשׁ הַמֹּלֵךְ מֵהֹדּוּ וְעַד כּוּשׁ שֶׁבַע וְעֶשְׂרִים וּמֵאָה מְדִינָה

“In the days of Achashverosh, that is Achashverosh who ruled from India to Ethiopia, 127 states.”

It is well known that the Book of Esther contains within it many hints and secrets regarding the final redemption. The book falls within the context of Ezra’s move to Israel and the rebuilding of the Temple which was postponed at the time. This parallels our time, especially since Esther and Mordechai are both from the tribe of Binyamin, and we are under the rule of Mashiach Ben Yosef of Binyamin.

(Rafi’s note, I don’t know what he’s talking about  with the Binyamin thing.)

וַיֹּאמֶר הַמֶּלֶךְ לְאֶסְתֵּר בְּמִשְׁתֵּה הַיַּיִן מַה שְּׁאֵלָתֵךְ וְיִנָּתֵן לָךְ וּמַה בַּקָּשָׁתֵךְ עַד חֲצִי הַמַּלְכוּת וְתֵעָשׂ

“And the King said to Esther at the drinking party, ‘What is your request and I will grant it, what is your wish? Up to half the kingdom and it will be done.”

The fact that the Temple is encoded into the Book of Esther we know from the Gemara in Megila:

Says the Gemara Megila 15B: “Up to half the kingdom and it will be done,” half the kingdom and not the whole thing, nor something that smacks of a kingdom. And what smacks of a kingdom? The Temple.

From here we can extrapolate the redemption of Mashiach Ben David. Achashverosh is limiting Esther, who represents Mashiach ben Yosef, up to the point of the Temple. The “up to” in “up to half the kingdom” comes from the blessing of Binyamin by Yaakov, which says “You will eat up to the morning”.

“Half the kingdom” – if Achashverosh rules 127 states, half of that would be 63.5. If we count from the beginning of the State of Israel, which is the beginning of the era of Mashiach ben Yosef, that turns out to be 2012, which is the beginning of the years of preparation for Mashiach ben David, which are 5772-5775. (Rafi’s note: He brings in a source here for that but I haven’t sifted through it.)

Therefore, the meaning of the verse is this: Up to half the kingdom and it will be done. “Up to half” means up to 5772 (2012). From then, Mashiach ben David begins to rise. And when is it complete? At the end of Shmitah, and when does that fall out?

It will be done is ותעש. Or תשעו. If you switch the letters. 5776.

My friend continues to point out that every time the word תשועה is mentioned in Tanach, it always has to do with David. No exceptions.

And there are other hints at 5776 throughout the Torah. Here’s a fun one though, one that I can proudly say I found. It’s in Breishit 38. Yehuda leaves his brothers after the sale of Yosef. Figuratively, after the downfall of Mashiach ben Yosef. Yehuda settles near a guy named Hirah, who has a friend named Shua. Yehuda marries the daughter of this guy Shua, and for the rest of the story this woman is only known as בת שוע, or Shua’s daughter.

It’s always bugged me why she doesn’t have a name.

When Bat Shua dies, Yehuda goes down to Timnah to sheer his sheep. Tamar, who has been sitting around waiting for Yehuda to give him his third son after the first two died, hears about it and follows him down. This leads to Yehuda thinking Tamar is a prostitute, sleeping with her and starting the Mashiach’s ancestral line.

So why Bat Shua?

אל תקרא בת שוע אלא ב-תשוע. Or 5776.

Also note that David’s wife, the one that gives birth to Shlomo, is בת שבע, or 5772.

And the fourth and final blood moon occurs on Succot, 5776, the holiday of Gog and Magog, when every nation is supposed to come to the temple to worship God.

All in all, this could all be nothing. I’d like to believe it, but can’t say that I do. But in case it isn’t nothing, let it be recorded here that I believed it plausible enough that I wrote it down as Purim Torah.

נכנס פורים יוצא סוד.

 

 

A Libertarian Reading of Joseph

A friend and I have been back-and-forthing on various biblical themes with a libertarian lens. One of the characters we keep coming back to is Joseph. In a mainstream read, he’s a hero, a character that changes for the good, does teshuva, saves his family, rises to glory. A complete success story. He is referred to by Chazal as Yosef Hatzadik, Joseph the Righteous. But I have since been rereading the Joseph story in a libertarian light and have come to more complicated conclusions. Not that they necessarily contradict the read that Joseph was basically a good guy who succeeded in life, but a perspective that has liberty at the forefront tells me that Joseph was a much more limited and narrow person than people generally think.

In broad strokes, Yosef is the master socialist, statist, economic central planner. These are all bad words in libertarian-speak, but it is not that simple. The first thing we know about Yosef is that he has dreams of power and he seeks to control, without necessarily being in control of himself first. This initially got him into trouble when he was sold by his brothers to Egypt. There he is humbled and gains some self control, working hard to make his way to the top wherever he is, and not being sidetracked by feeling sorry for himself and depressed all day, as I’m sure many of us would feel if we were one day sold by our own family into slavery in a foreign country.

At some point, his own self control is tested, and he passes the test so well that it sets him back. He refuses to sleep with his boss’s wife, who then ironically accuses him of attempting to rape her, and he is then sent to prison.

But even then, he refuses to wallow in self-pity and does his best, rising to the top of the prison and eventually getting out by interpreting a few dreams.

Then he finally has his opportunity. He impresses Pharaoh with his interpretation of the cows swallowing cows and corn swallowing corn. And here’s where we come to a serious libertarian rereading. According to mainstream thought, Yosef saved the entire region from starvation by executing an ingenious plan of storing food. Without Yosef, the thinking goes, the entire middle east and western Africa would have been dead from hunger.

But is that really true? My contention is no. Yosef didn’t save anybody. All he did was some central economic planning through which he was able to give Pharaoh near absolute power in Egypt. The Otto Von Bismarck of his time, so to speak.

Had not Yosef interpreted Pharaoh’s dream correctly, what would have happened? There would have still been plenty of surplus food produced during the seven years of plenty. Instead of it all being monopolized in Pharaoh’s royal granaries through either coerced sales or probably outright theft, the supply would have remained decentralized.

My evidence that it was outright theft of the surplus comes from the word שילש used to describe how Egypt was divided when Pharaoh put Yosef in charge to begin collecting the surplus food. שילש is a very belligerent term, which also describes the head of an Egyptian war chariot, as in ושלישים על כלו. It is a term also used in the קדושה, as in יחד כולם קדושה לך ישלשו, describing how the angels praise God in heaven. The phrase the angels use is the famous triple קדוש, as in קדוש קדוש קדוש ה׳ צבאות, or Holy Holy Holy is the Lord of Hosts, in other words the commander of an army, with the angels being God’s army. So it is probably that Yosef sent soldiers in to simply confiscate the surplus.

There was little resistance because there was so much surplus that nobody wanted to put up a fight about it. But the key is that had Yosef not appointed thugs to confiscate the surplus, it would not have simply been wasted. All major cities had stockpiles of grain in case of a siege, and it’s not like famines were uncommon things those days. The food would have been stored, but instead of monopolized by Pharaoh with Yosef as his agent allowing him to charge an arm and a leg for it later, the price would have been competitive as many sellers would have competed for buyers during the famine years, lowering the price to something more reasonable than everything you own plus a 20% income tax for eternity, which is what Yosef ended up instituting.

So all Yosef did was give Pharaoh the window of opportunity for the greatest power grab in history up to that time. And Pharaoh took it. 3 years into the famine, Pharaoh owned all the silver in the entire economy. 4 years in, he owned all the cattle. 5 years in he literally owned the entire country. ותהי הארץ לפרעה. And it was Yosef that instituted the income tax on the Egyptian people.

That’s the bad part. The good part is that Yosef the Socialist Economic Central Planner did get his family a privileged spot through all the turmoil. There was no income tax on Bnei Yisrael. How do we know this? Because the income tax only applied to people who were forced to sell their land. The Torah clearly says that the Egyptian priests did not pay the 20% tax because they didn’t to sell their land because they got free food from the Egyptian Crown as part of the deal of being priests of Amun, or Aten, or On or whatever Egyptian god they were priests of. You know who else got free food during the famine? We did. From Yosef. So we never got taxed. And that’s why the Egyptians got really pissed off and turned on us later, enslaving us. Because our Statist brother Yosef enslaved them first with taxation.

This helped me answer a burning question I’ve always had about one little thing Yosef did in the aftermath of revealing himself to his brothers. At one point before he reveals himself, he gives Benjamin, his only full brother, 5x more food than everyone else. This is easily explainable as a test to see if it stokes their jealousy. But what always bothered me was that even after Yosef reveals himself to his brothers, he still gives Binyamin 5x more changes of clothes than everyone else for the way back!

Why? Because deep down, despite all the improvements in his persona which are undeniable, Yosef is still the same power-hungry crony capitalist who, just like government and big business, picks his favorite and showers him with gifts. He can’t help himself from using his power. It’s beyond his personality to be able to control it once he has it.

This, I believe, is why Mashiach ben Yosef has to die (non violently!), why Yosef cannot lead in the end, why the 10 tribes led by Efraim ben Yosef had to split off from Yehuda, which only happened when Yehuda, in the form of King Rechavam, took power to his head and became too much like Yosef, attempting to raise taxes too high and become a powerful nationalist state. And finally, why the true Mashiach has to come from Yehuda, the one who finally breaks Yosef down to crying when he offers himself in Binyamin’s place. In the end, Yehuda is the one who really knows how to treat Binyamin – as an equal, not as a favorite. Yosef treats him as a favorite and he cannot change his constant power-playing, the same mistake that led to his sale and enslavement in the first place.

Yosef is the force of Jewish nationalism. It is the force that drives classical Zionism, and it is a good catalyst for getting the nation together. It gave rise to the State of Israel which, as bad as it is, does keep the nation together. Yosef-minded Zionist people got together and put together a benign dictatorship, a Jewish State to run every aspect of Jews’ lives here, to tax them way above and beyond Joseph’s 20% rate, to indoctrinate their children in state schools and kidnap them into their army, expel them from their homes when they feel like it and all the other horrible stuff we all know about.

It is also useful to note that, just as Yosef is not a bad guy, but actually a good guy with a serious limitation, so too the current Israeli leadership, despite being evil at times, is also essentially good, but only within its own failed context and limited scope. It cannot complete the task, but it cannot be blamed either. It simply does not have the ability to even see what the task is.

Mashiach Ben Yosef has already come. He is just a catalyst for the next phase, which is liberty. It is time for Mashiach Ben Yosef to dissolve (through nonviolent means of course), and to make way for Yehuda, who, just like he did when he offered to take Binyamin’s place, will have to bring classical Zionism to its knees in some sort of catharsis.

The next step is for Yosefian Zionist nationalism to dissolve, making way for true liberty, חירות, at the hands of Yehuda. We’re getting closer. Stay tuned. 

Knesset to Debate Jewish Sovereignty on Temple Mount, The Inside Story

Back to blogging. Things are heating up. You may have heard that the Knesset will be debating the issue of Jewish sovereignty on the Temple Mount this Tuesday. I’ll be going. I don’t really like the term “Jewish Sovereignty” because it’s an Orwellian term. It really means that the agents of the State of Israel will control what goes on at the Temple Mount, instead of what the situation is now, which is that the Jordanian state decides it.

If we are to stick to strict libertarian theory as to what should be done with Mount Moriah, the answer is give it to the nearest Kohen Meyuchas, or ancestor of a Kohen that can actually trace his lineage to someone who served in the temple 1944 years ago before it was destroyed. They are the last ones to have owned the place rightfully, so gather them all together (and there are a few of them around) and give private ownership of Har Habayit to them by shares of stock in it and let them decide what to do with it. The Arabs can take what’s on the surface and get off, or stay on, if that’s what the majority of Kohanim Meyuchasim decide.

But I digress. This won’t happen. So the next best thing is to give it to some State of Israel official who is something of a next of kin, since we’re at least related to the Kohanim. And this just came one step closer to happening 2 weeks ago. It was quite poetic actually.

How it happened

The status of Har Habayit has never come up in the Knesset. Ever. This is the first time since the destruction of the Temple that a Jewish authority will even discuss it. So how did it happen?

The Knesset has its own weird parliamentary rules. Moshe Feiglin brought up the motion to discuss the status of Har Habayit with the goal of having the Knesset pass a resolution to allow Jews to enter the compound from all gates and to pray there. The status quo currently is that Jews can only come through one gate, between 7am and 10pm only on certain days in very small groups, must be surrounded by police at all times, cannot carry any “contraband” including religious articles to the site, move their lips in prayer, bow, look at the Waqf the wrong way, or steal the Dome of the Rock.

The weird parliamentary rules are these: Once Feiglin brought up the motion, the Speaker can either deny a vote, at which point the motion goes to committee, or call a vote. If the vote passes, the discussion will happen. If the vote fails, the discussion will not happen. (A “discussion” is basically when Knesset Members are invited to the podium to bloviate. The only one who ever actually says anything of substance is Moshe.) So basically the speaker can either deny a vote and let the fate of the motion be decided in committee, or he can roll the dice with an immediate vote which will decide the fate of the motion immediately.

The Speaker at the time was the loveable Ahmed Tibi, the loud-mouthed Arab gynecologist and envy of all sewer rats. In the plenum at the time were Tibi, Feiglin, Amir “Unionize this Mustache” Peretz and Yisrael Eichler the Haredi guy. Tibi figured the numbers were on his side. He’d vote against a discussion of Jewish Sovereignty on Holy Al Aqsa, Peretz would too because he’s a lefty, Eichler would too because he’s Haredi and thinks Jews going up to Har Habayit is like Nadav and Avihu offering up Esh Zarah and holy fire will descend from heaven, so he thought it’d be 3 to 1 against and the whole issue would die right there.

But Tibi tracht und God blacht. Tibi called the vote. Tibi votes no. Feiglin votes yes. So far it’s tied.

It goes to Mustache Peretz…and he isn’t even paying attention. No vote.

So it all comes down to Eichler. He looks at Moshe and Tibi, and decides, to hell with holy fire, let the Jews discuss it, and he’d rather be on Moshe’s side on this one than Tibi. He votes yes.

And suddenly, for the first time in one thousand nine hundred and forty-four years, the Jews will discuss their own sovereignty on Har Habayit this Tuesday.

If we take a step back, this is a structurally flawless mircocosm of what’s going on now in Jewish history. The Jewish ideologue proposes a vote to bring geulah one step closer. The Arab, thinking he will win, puts all his cards on the table and forces the other two Jews – the secular socialist and the haredi socialist, to make a decision. The secular socialist is asleep at the wheel. And the haredi tips the scales.

And God takes a small bow, making sure only the astute even notice the divine choreography at play here.

Let’s see what happens on Tuesday.

 

My Libertarian Manifesto of Torah and Faith

This is a response to Rabbi Zev Farber’s Manifesto of Torah and Faith as well as a response to Rabbi Gordimer’s and Rabbi Yitzchak Blau’s responses to it here and here. (Technically Rabbi Gordimer’s article was a response to a proto-manifesto of Zev’s, but…you know…whatever.)

Though Rabbi Zev Farber’s parents and my parents happen to be the same exact people, I still have absolutely no standing in the Modern Orthodox or Open Orthodox halachic commentary world whatsoever. I nevertheless thought perhaps this would get passed around on a sort of pseudo-nepotismic/curiosity basis anyway. I’m like Open Orthodoxy’s father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate, but what the hey, let’s get our Schwartz twisted and see what happens. The beauty of commenting from the outside is that I have no one to answer to, no skin in the game, so I can say whatever I want however I want. And that I will do.

By my dress and general behavior that people can see on the outside, most would consider me Modern Orthodox, or Open Orthodox, or at the very least “generally Halachically observant.” That’s the lifestyle I live together with my family. But that’s all window dressing. Halachic practice is important to me in a way, but only cosmetically so. At my core I am a libertarian. That is what is really important to me in a crucial, moral sense. By that I mean, I abide as much as I can by the non-aggression principle (NAP), and preach that others do the same. Indeed I preach that being a libertarian is what God actually, really wants from every human being on Earth, first and foremost Jewish human beings as His chosen exemplary people (I assume we are, reasons below).

Abiding by the NAP means I do not initiate violence. I don’t murder, I don’t rape, I don’t hit people outside the context of self-defense, and I don’t steal. All that is well and good. But here’s the tricky part:

I’m dead serious. By “steal” I mean taking money from other people without their explicit voluntary consent. This includes straight up everyday theft and burglary, but also includes anything that is not a mutually agreed upon exchange. That means government money, all defined by me as “stolen property”, as it is taken from people under threat of imprisonment by the government, which is not voluntary. If taxes were not backed up with the threat of violence, the vast, vast majority of people would not voluntarily pay them. Therefore, as a libertarian, I reject as many government benefits as reasonably possible. For example, I accept no child stipends from Bituach Leumi (National Insurance in Israel, everyone with kids gets them) and never took an unemployment check. Exceptions are that I drive on government monopolized roads, I drink government monopolized water and I use the government monopolized Karnei Shomron sanitation system, none of which I can avoid without hermetizing myself, which I am unwilling to do.

Full disclosure, other libertarians like Dr. Walter Block (a Jew) argue that accepting government money is legitimate, but I differ, and believe one should strive, within reason, to reject as many benefits as possible on the grounds that accepting government money legitimizes the existence of governments in the eyes of the masses, and libertarians should live by example, just like Jews should.

Like other libertarians I have a theory of property rights that says whoever homesteads a piece of land – plants things on it or builds on it first – owns it. Ownership can then be passed voluntarily as a gift or by mutual exchange. Further, “democracy” is illegitimate. In a country of 3 people, A B and C, A and B cannot legitimately “vote” to “tax” C’s property and split the proceeds just as A and B cannot vote to murder C either.

Now, what does this have to do with Judaism and Torah and Rabbi Zev Farber’s Manifesto of Torah and Faith?

Zev had a lot of pop culture quotations in his Manifesto (and most of them were good except the one from Abraham Lincoln) so I’ll do the same. I’m reminded of a scene from South Park. A bunch of people die and are met by the gatekeeper of hell. One of the dead people is disturbed at the fact that he is at the entrance to hell. He, after all, is a protestant. So he asks the gatekeeper which religion was the correct one. “The correct religion was Mormon.”

Assuming everyone understands the absurdity of the above scene, I’m betting most understand the absurdity of the following scene as well:

A Jew dies and meets God at the gates of the World to Come. “Did you believe that the Exodus, Yetzias Mitzrayim, really happened historically and that the Torah was written word for word by Moshe?” asks God.

“Well, not really,” says the Jew. “I mean, there wasn’t any physical evidence of an exodus from Egypt and the Torah really looked to me like it was written by a few authors. At least that’s what I thought when I was alive. But I did abide by the NAP as fully as I could and I preached liberty wherever possible on the grounds that every man is created in Your image and deserves to be able to make his own voluntary choices,” responds the Jew at Heaven’s Gate to God Himself.

“Well, the NAP is great,” replies God, “But the lack of evidence of the Exodus and seeming multiple sources in the Torah were just tests to see how well those who didn’t believe in its historicity and My man Moshe’s authorship can lie to themselves to convince themselves otherwise. Sorry! Hell it is!”

My point is, I don’t care what anyone believes regarding the authorship and historical veracity of the Torah, and in my opinion, neither does God. It doesn’t matter. Those who think it does matter nowadays are narrow-minded dogmatists with almost no awareness of what’s actually important in the world. They are spinning their wheels and wasting their time and ours impressing us about how much they can quote Chazal and Rishonim. Whipping a dead horse, barking up the wrong tree and other annoying metaphors.

Two questions: 1) What about all of Chazal and Rishonim and the rest who said it really DOES matter? Were they narrow-minded dogmatists with no awareness of what’s important either? Short answer, NO. 2) Zev addressed this next question, but I want to readdress it in the light of what I’ll say below: Should we just scrap the whole Jewish Nation as a myth founded on a lie and blend in to the rest of humanity, calling all of Jewish history quits? Short answer, NO.

Before I get into the long answers, I remember several years ago, maybe around my high school graduation in 2002 or thereabouts, my family was having Shabbos dinner and Zev was there at the table. At the time he was a “Drisha Girl” learning with Rabbi Silber. (That’s his joke, not mine. He was learning with Rabbi Silber in some kind of fellowship or other in the Drisha building before he enrolled in YCT.) We were discussing the historicity of Tanach, the Flood and whatnot, as we often do given our father is a Conservative Rabbi and modern biblical scholarship was often a point of discussion. Zev had said something that night that I used as my principle for the next decade or so of my own life. He said (again I don’t have this exact) that when one reads the Torah and has to decide what is historical and what is not, it is important to get into the mind of the author, so to speak.

Meaning, when you read the Genesis creation stories, you have to decide, is the author (or God forbid authors) trying to tell me how many days it took to create the world, or is he trying to teach me a lesson about the relationship of God and man through the stories? Well, given that first the author says it took 6 days, and then he (or a different one) says it took 1 day, he or they are probably not trying to tell me how many days it took to create the world. This is not historical. So I don’t have to freak out when I see dinosaur bones or lose sleep over evolution.

When reading the story of the Flood, is the author trying to tell me that a flood happened and it lasted so many days and this is the sequence of it? Or is he actually just trying to rewrite a popular ancient Middle Eastern myth the desert-wandering Exodus Israelites or their cultural descendants were familiar with but wanted to put in a monotheistic context? It could go either way, perhaps both, but I decided it wouldn’t upset me if the Flood and accompanying Noah’s Ark story never actually happened. I could still take the Torah seriously.

Same thing with the Tower of Babel. The author is not giving me a language history lesson as I doubt that is important to my religious education. The story seems more to do with the importance of human diversity in the Divine plan for the world. It gets a little tougher with the historicity of the Abraham and Isaac, and it gets really hard with Jacob and the 12 tribes, but I decided I still wouldn’t have a crisis if not every detail of those stories actually happened.

But, Zev said, and I remember this, and I guess he changed his mind in the last 12 years unless I’m mistaken, which is fine either way (really), that when you get to the Exodus from Egypt, it is impossible to take the author of the Torah and therefore the Torah itself seriously unless you assume the author is trying to tell you something that actually, historically, happened. In other words, if the historicity of the Exodus goes, then so does the rest of it because then it all just seems silly. If this didn’t happen, then what is the author smoking? Does he think I’m stupid? It all becomes a big joke.

I mention this not to call Zev out, but to point out that for many, the historicity of the Exodus from Egypt as written is crucial to their Halachic practice and Jewish identity. Going through the Pesach Seder seems especially dumb if it’s all a fairytale. Further, I believe that anyone who says that, on an individual basis, he no longer follows Halacha because he no longer believes in the historicity of the Exodus, is doing something completely understandable and legitimate.

Now the long answers to the two questions. First, the Chazal/Rishonim/et. al issue. Is the Rambam, for example, just a simple minded dogmatist because he wrote that anyone who doesn’t believe in total Mosaic authorship of the Torah is a heretic?

The answer is, there is a big difference between exilic Judaism and national Judaism. In order to survive thousands of years of exile culturally intact, you’ve got to hunker down in order to keep the nation together without its land, especially when your numbers are small and you could come under attack by some crazy murderous government at any moment without warning. If the Rambam or a Tana or Amora or Gaon or any other Rishon (all generational terms for Rabbis) or any other famous “dogmatist” wrote more or less what Zev wrote 800 or 1000 years ago and it came into prominence and was accepted, there probably would not be a Jewish People today, at least not in my opinion. If Rabbi Zev Farber’s Manifesto of Torah and Faith came out in, say, 1242, it probably would have been justifiably burned, not for being wrong (that is not to say that it’s right), but for being dangerous to Jewish national survival. We’ll get to why Jewish national survival is important in a minute.

Most people are Amei Ha’Aretz, laymen, then and now. Tell them the story is not historical in 1242 and most would ask why in the WORLD am I risking my life being Jewish? Yeah, today nobody with any serious governmental coercive power is actively trying to kill us so we have the luxury of going to Shul or lighting candles or having a Seder or whatever whether or not we believe the book is real or a fairytale. But back then, you need the people in line if you’re going to preserve the Nation for eventual restoration in its land.

Am I saying the Rambam didn’t really believe what he wrote about Mosaic authorship and heresy? No, I am not saying that. The truth is I don’t know what he personally believed. If I had Maimonides in a room alone with me and asked him to respond to Rabbi Zev Farber’s Manifesto of Torah and Faith and promised him complete confidentiality, I honestly don’t know what he would tell me. Does anyone else? What I am saying is I don’t care what he or any other Rabbi actually believed. It’s not important. Not anymore.

It was important when we were trying to survive without a land to keep the Jewish People culturally intact, but now it’s not.

So that leads me to the second question, why was it ever important? Who cares if Jews exist or not? Why not just scrap the whole thing and just become pig-eating shaatnez-wearing Shabbos-breaking libertarians, turn the Temple Mount into the Israel branch of the Ludwig von Mises (a jew) Institute, dedicate the Cave of the Patriarchs to Murray Rothbard (a Jew), build a Museum dedicated to F.A. Hayek (a Jew) next to Yad Vashem and call it a day?

My answer is, the Tochacha. That chapter at the end of Leviticus, repeated in Deuteronomy, maybe even (!) by two different authors. Those verses that predict with sickening cruelty what we would go through in agonizing detail. It even understated it, terribly so. The agony, the genocide, the promise that we’d never be wiped out completely, and finally, the redemption.

Whether or not you believe in the historicity of the Exodus or whether Moses wrote the Torah or even existed, the Tochacha is really, really old, written at the latest before the vast vast majority of all the worst stuff on planet Earth happened to us. You can ask Zev. He’ll tell you it’s really old. And it came true. And whoever it was wrote it down and we still have it. And now we’re back in Israel, again, just as written, and the Jews today are historically and culturally continuous and contiguous with the Jews of whenever the academics and the frummies agree you can start the historico-cultural timeline.

There is no way that there could be any cultural survival if a conscious God wasn’t watching us to preserve us for some huge, important, cosmic purpose. There is no historico-cultural parallel to the Jews’ collective national survival. It is impossible without a Divine historical Director, regardless of who wrote the thing. Somebody wrote it and it’s accurate.

From the Tochacha I go back to the Flood story. It begins as a continuation of the creation story and the Garden of Eden. Man starts multiplying like crazy, and all the sudden man starts violating what? The non-aggression principle of course.  The NAP. The Torah complains about “Hamas” which means chaotic violence, destruction, theft all around, people taking whichever girl they find at will which I assume means rape. Total force, aggression, the NAP is in shambles. God says, “I can’t take this anymore.”

Why did God destroy the world according to the story? Because the NAP, libertarianism, completely died. Only one man was decent enough to save. Noah was libertarian all right. He was a non-interventionist. But he wasn’t a preacher. He didn’t really care about other people as long as he was left alone. He kept to himself. He was also a drunk, which doesn’t violate the NAP, but it’s not so flattering. You can’t start a nation with that kind of man as an example. Whoever wrote it down was trying to say that the planet will survive (barely) as long as someone follows the NAP, but it won’t progress if society as a whole doesn’t.

10 generations later, according to the narrative whose historicity does not concern me in the least, God decides on a different strategy in order to get the world moving again. He’d pick one man who was libertarian, someone who believed EVERYONE had the right not be violated or stolen from with no exceptions, but who also preached it and whose life was exemplary. That man was Abraham, Zev’s father. God promised Abraham that his children would remain intact, and He’d even give them a slice of land with which to practice libertarianism as a nation and serve as an example to the rest of mankind, as a light unto the nations. In order to stay intact, they’d need commands to separate them from the rest of humanity. Dietary restrictions, peculiar clothing, Shabbat, a Holy Temple, etc., which would all remind them that man has One Creator and rights come from Him and not from man, not from government, not from the majority, not from whatever money our “representatives” can squeeze out of other people by force.

Now guess what my fellow Yidden. I have news for you all. The exile is over. We can all come out of our dogmatic caves and wake up and smell what’s going on in the real world. We can all stop worrying about who believes what and activating the different strands of the Jewish Thought Police. It’s time to get serious and stop worrying about how many Jewish skeletons you can find in the Sinai Desert from 3,000 years ago.

It’s time to worry about how men in Israel, some of them Rabbis, with the power of force and violence, extract money with the threat of violence out of other Jews for their own purposes whatever they are which causes Jewish groups in Israel to mercilessly hate one another. Learning at Yeshiva with tax money, learning at a University with tax money, forced curriculums, police that can break down your door and tazer you in front of your children without you being charged for a single crime, a raise for Knesset Members, a raise for government monopolized port workers who are legally protected from competition, billions of shekels to kick Jews out of their homes by force in 2005 in Gaza, how one group of Jews has been trying for 20 years to use government force to kick hundreds of thousands more Jews out of their homes through the “Oslo Peace Process”. Because of this mutual force and theft, everyone hates everyone else. We all talk about stopping the Sinas Chinam, the causeless hatred between us but nobody seems willing to stop the massive mutual theft and aggression of everyone against everyone that is causing it.

It’s time to worry about how the government controls by force and violence every single aspect of our lives here in Israel. There’s a government minister for everything. For what food we can import, for what hospitals we can build, for what we can smoke and can’t smoke, for where we can send our kids to daycare and where we can’t, for what school we have to send our kids to and for how long, for how much or how little we are allowed to work for. There’s even a “Culture and Sports Minister” that tells us God knows what. The government owns 93% of all the land here jacking real estate prices up and complains they’re too high but wants to keep the monopoly. I see how the government-appointed taxpayer-funded Chief Rabbinate does nothing but stir up ever more Sinas Chinam and rage between different Jewish groups. How most secular Jews have nothing but contempt for government Rabbis that they have to pay to do their weddings and divorces by force. How they have a special list of Mamzers that they don’t allow to marry. How they manage to just piss everyone off for every reason because they have their dirty Rabbinic desecration of God’s Name hands in every conceivable thing. Most Jews who hate Judaism hate it because of them. It’s time we realized that and shut them down. Who can convert, who can marry, who can get a kosher certificate, who can build a Shul.

How everyone fights over how much force everyone else has to shoulder and the burden of violence, drafting into the army by force for three years where you can die, how it should be “equalized” and slavery burden “shared” instead of eliminated and freedom reign. How we are actually contemplating dragging people into the army who promise to revolt and we think somehow this is going to be good for us. We are insane. How the government monopolized prison system keeps letting murderers go, breaking the heart of every bereaved family and spitting on the graves all those murdered and cheapening the lives of everyone who risked theirs putting them away. And of course, endangering us all. How the government forbids Jews from praying on their most holy spot, Har Habayit, the Temple Mount, and nobody seems to care. Everyone’s obsessed with who can pray at the stupid government-owned Wall. How the government is now going to take my fingerprints and put them in a biometric database as if I were Jude on a German cattle car being tattooed by the SS. That one particularly sickens me to the core, the Israeli government about to take my fingerprints by force just like the Nazis took my grandparents’ arms as if they own my body, too. The violence is increasing and getting unbearable.

You want to know the real importance of the Exodus story? It’s not its exact historicity. It’s the message of liberty. Slavery is illegitimate. So says God.

Nobody has any right to take anyone’s body or property for any reason without his voluntary consent. Period.

How do we make the world libertarian? It can’t be done by individuals. God tried that and had to destroy the world in a flood because it failed. It has to be done by a whole nation. An entire People who can serve as an example to the world. This is why Jews still exist. To be libertarians. We do it by being Jews. By following the halachic system voluntarily, with punishments only for violations of the NAP as per Rabbi Akivaesque Halachic tradition. Why Halacha? Those who grew up with it as I have and have studied it can recognize the moral genius of most of Chazal and the later generations of Rabbis. I am aware that there are libertarian as well as non-libertarian sources in Halacha. I accept the former and reject the latter. It’s easy when you have a clear moral compass.

Anyone who has trouble meshing Halacha with my brand of anarcho-libertarianism in particular, I refer you to Midrash Rabbah Shoftim on שום תשים עליך מלך. It’s the most anarcho-libertarian Chazal source out there to my knowledge.

I for one plan to do my best to tear down as much government in Israel as I possibly can while I’m on the planet.

As for the historicity of Yetzias Mitzrayim, believe what you want to believe. If you believe in every detail, good for you. If you don’t, what are you supposed to do? Lie to yourself to get into Olam Haba? That sounds like the stupidest of all childish games. People believe what they believe. That’s it. I personally believe something like it happened because to think the whole thing was made up would make Judaism seem silly to me even given the truth of the Tochacha, but I don’t care exactly which details are historically true or not. The story was definitely put together very, very carefully by someone who knew what he was doing. I would be happy if archaeological proof were found, but I’m not too worried about it, because I do know that God is behind Jewish history in some way, or else we wouldn’t exist.

Follow Halacha if you believe in it. Don’t follow it if you don’t. It won’t affect your personal Olam Haba status, if that exists. That I’m sure of. I personally have no preference for what anyone does on a personal level as long as they follow the NAP, though it would be nice if people followed both Halacha and the NAP. It is not, however, my priority to get people to be observant Jews. I just don’t care enough for that to motivate me.

My priority is freeing Jews from theft and enslavement by other Jews. We have to stop worrying about individual Halacha and start thinking about the national sphere, like Jubilee and its built in design to limit government power like the 93% monopoly Israel’s government currently has over the land supply. If we had Jubilee and it were operative, would there be a land monopoly? We should think about how Halacha structures the Jewish judicial system and start acting accordingly. In a halachic system, Judges don’t elect themselves as they do here in this judicial dictatorship of a country. I bet we can get even the most ardent atheist to be interested in Halacha in that sphere.

But we’re all still busy putzing around worrying about who believes what happened 3,000 years ago and who doesn’t while everyone’s stealing from each other and kidnapping each other’s children into forced army service and everyone’s even younger children into government indoctrination schools NOW.

And you know the first question God will ask me when I die? It ain’t got nothin’ to do with who wrote the Torah. The question will be:

נשאת ונתת באמונה?

Were you honest in business? That’s Shabbos 31A for you.

Did you steal from anyone? Did you make your money through voluntary exchange, or by force, burglary, violence, theft, taxes? Did you follow the NAP?

Thank God Zev wrote his Manifesto of Torah and Faith. Gordimer should be applauding him for his intellectual honesty. Instead he’s busy like most other “Rabbis” who have totally lost track of what matters yelling about who’s getting into heaven or not, just like Christians go around accusing each other of “losing salvation” because they don’t believe in Jesus in the exact correct way according to Pope Francisco or some other catechismic irrelevant. How Goyish.

As for Rabbi Yitzchak Blau, I had the pleasure of being his student for a short time and very much enjoyed his response to Zev, which was much more relevant than Gordimer’s  angry self-righteous “you’re not getting into heaven” nanny-nanny-boo-boo-*raspberry* screed. It’s Mormons, Rabbi Gordimer, in case you missed that South Park episode.

The only problem with Rav Blau’s article was the end, where he tries to urge people to reject Zev’s views because they are “outside Orthodoxy.” What the heck is Orthodoxy? Is it a club? Who’s the bouncer? Is he a bald guy with a beard and payis? Does he wear sunglasses? Where are the gatekeepers? How many of them are there? Does anybody care who’s in the club besides them? What if somebody says something that the bouncer doesn’t like but it’s true? Does that matter? Does he still get to dance in the club? Do people who only dance outside the club still go to heaven? Do they serve mojitos? What about Long Island Iced Tea?

Zev wrote something he thinks is true. Get over it. Here’s what I think is true:

This used to matter, but only as a means of national survival. It doesn’t matter anymore, not since our exile ended. If we can get past the “historicity” question, maybe we Jews can start dealing with the Sinas Chinam issue we all think is really important around Tisha B’av every year but then we devolve into this heresy nonsense. We can stop the Sinas Chinam when we stop the theft. When everyone starts respecting everyone else’s boundaries and letting them live who they want to live. So let’s stop it and start freeing the Jews from their slavery to the evil Israeli government. And then, just maybe, free from coercion, Jews will start coming back to Halacha like you all want them to.

The Jewish State is pissed that Jews are building without being robbed by the State

The State Comptroller today came out with a report about how there is such “lawlessness” in Judea and Samaria and so much building is going on without the State’s knowledge and resulting property taxes. So Jews are rightfully homesteading land and making it productive, but since the State doesn’t get its loot, it wants to stop this.

It calls these builders “criminals” because it didn’t get an opportunity to rob them of their money. That’s like a guy breaking into your house calling you a criminal for putting your valuables into a safe so he can’t get them.

 

 

Middle East Anarcho Libertarian Summer Wrap Up

A few months back I saw a headline in Jpost about Avigdor Lieberman pushing through a law cutting Knesset Member salaries by 10% in the face of the economic situation (caused by them in the first place). I was pleasantly surprised but of course thought that they should cut buy at least 90%, and preferably 100%. I also doubt they’ll do it because they are, of course, professional thieves who think they are noble. Then I read that they have voted to reverse the cuts down to 1%. I am surprised they didn’t change it to a 10% pay raise.

Moshe Feiglin proposes a law to allow something. I am in favor of any law to allow anything but the initiation of violence against innocent people. Laws to allow are by definition laws to shrink the State. The specific thing Moshe wants to allow is for car insurance companies to sue reckless drivers in the event of an accident. Insurance pays victim, then counter sues offender if applicable. This would be great, of course, because drunk drivers would be responsible for paying the medical fees or God forbid funeral fees and family restitution of the people they murder. Most likely their freedom of movement would be restricted for a long time and forced into slavery as they work to pay off the debt, perhaps even for life as salaries are mortgaged. This would greatly discourage reckless driving of all forms. A better idea would be to get government out of insurance altogether and to simply allow insurance company and client to formulate whatever contract is mutually agreed upon, which would include who is responsible for what in the event of reckless driving. But Moshe’s proposal is a good start. Unfortunately, it is shot down in committee because most Knesset Members are schmucks and schmucks don’t like losing control of industries and not being able to tell them what to do, even at the expense of hundreds of drunk driving murder victims.

Egypt is in a revolution again, after realizing that the new government hasn’t freed anyone from slavery. So now they’re looking for a NEW government again to do the same thing. The answer, nobody realizes, is to replace Morsi with nobody, dissolve the government and not institute a new one.

We see an acquaintance in the park with their kid. We ask where she is going to preschool next year. Acquaintance says she doesn’t know. The system hasn’t told her yet. We ask how the system determines which kids go to what preschool. She says that the kids with government connections get the best ones, the others are randomly assigned. I am filled with disdain.

I get an email today from a faceless bureaucrat named Aviva Something telling me that my daughter will go to preschool at a place I’ve never heard of with children she does not know. Aviva doesn’t know a damn thing about my daughter. Aviva has never met her. My daughter is simply a name on a sheet to her she gets to shuffle around on a whim after all Aviva’s friends get first dibs on whatever they want. She gets to decide where my daughter will go to preschool next year, rather than me, her parent, because Netanyahu passed a law nationalizing preschools all over the country. Now I have to fill in a piece of paper petitioning Aviva to send my kid to a preschool with her friends from this year and rely on Aviva the preschool goddess’s good graces, when all I really want to do is (insert stress relieving word here) for telling me where I can and can’t send my kid to school. If I don’t fill out this paper and instead try to send her where I want without going through the bureaucratic motions, bad things will happen to me in proportion to the amount of non-bureaucratic force I apply. The fact that this random government placement of children does not incur the righteous anger of other parents saddens me to no end.

A cousin in law I have never met looks at my wife and says that the two of them probably have similar political opinions. She says that she doesn’t think so, because she is an anarcho-capitalist. What does that mean, asks the cousin? It means that all of our political opinions are negative, meaning, there should be no politics. For example, the fact that Aviva decides where my daughter goes to school makes my daughter’s education a political issue depending on my personal connections rather than my market talents and what I can or cannot afford. After about 20 minutes of explaining that we do not believe in government and how a free market would solve whatever issue she brings up, she asks, “Well what you are describing is total…anarchy. Do you want your children growing up in such a thing?” Some people just don’t get it.

I paid my yearly car extortion fee of 838 shekels to “license” my car for another year to use road services that are horrible, unsafe, constantly jammed and filled with drunk drivers who are not responsible to pay for the damages they cause.

I paid my national insurance extortion fee even though I do not want their services.

Mandatory child stipends I have no choice but to accept will be cut next year. A ray of hope and freedom shines on my world.

A few months back I ripped up a check the Likud sent me for being a poll monkey at elections. It was quite satisfying. I tore it up in front of the local Likud chapter financial guy and he winced. It was great. He accused me of wasting the money when I could have given it to the shul. So I wrote him an equivalent check for the shul from my own pocket to shut him up. I would love to become a Knesset member if only to be able to rip up State checks on the podium in front of the entire country, or better yet, take my State salary in cash and destroy it live on the Knesset Channel, getting rid of just a bit of inflation and enriching every single shekel holder in the country equally and paradoxically accomplishing every socialist’s dream through returning the money instead of through stealing more of it.